What are you talking about! This is a masterpiece! It's catchy and informative. I'm dumping my incredibly reliable and easy to use, user friendly Mac and jumping back into the buggy (consumers are guinea pigs) and slow, unstable world of Windows!

Yes, I'll be "Dancing in The Dark" as my computer freezes and has to be restarted time after time---but at least I'll know that I'm not suffering alone.

I mean seriously, I'm not joking at all. Your entire blog has been a pro-Apple, anti-Microsoft screed since day one. Don't you have any shame? Like, even the most desperate fanboys usually deviate from the corporate line every once in awhile. It's embarrassing. Show a little self-respect.

Oh come on, that was funny. And I know funny. Get knotted up about something else, for Elohim's sake.

Salesmen apparently need stupid things like that to motivate them. Sure looks like a typical sales video to me, probably not meant to be seen outside some sales rally.

I remember working for Digital Equipment Corp. years ago. I supported the guys who sold computers in Bellevue, WA.

Anyway, you can be sure that any salesman who wasn't making his or her numbers would hear about it in no uncertain terms. No excuses.

But then the big cheese, the national sales guy, who had promised changes that would lead to bigger sales, wasn't coming through. His numbers were in the tank.

Next thing you know, his Stepford staffers were sporting buttons that said "...yet". As in: the new stuff hasn't worked...yet."

I've been to many sales team rah-rahs in my time, and it was always tough for me to not openly laugh at these people.

Tonight, watching the video, I didn't have to hide my laughter. Thanks for the Wednesday night mirth.

That was harder to finish than 2 Girls, 1 Cup.

Here's my favorite Farhad Apple-loving quote. It's concerning the Iphone's SDK slipped release date.

http://machinist.salon.com/blog/2008/02/28/apple_sdk/

"But still, it's fun when things slip at Apple. Mistakes build character, and shows they're human, too."

Yeah, I know. It's awesome. I guess in the evil anti-universe the Farhad-with-a-goatee makes apologies for M$oft and shows lame Apple and Google internal videos.

Honestly, it really does. I mean what could this say about the people who could watch this and actually feel its intended affect? How could anyone be shown this and not feel massively condescended to? How could this not insult every fiber of dignity you have? This isn't Apple vs MS, this is about bad incredibly demeaning and insulting techniques to inspire or educate a sales force. Trying to get me excited about meeting my quota? Are you serious? I know that to some extent this is simply to make something which will point out what the management wants the sales team to use as there key selling points. But honestly if you don't know enough about the product you are selling without resorting to some gimmick, you shouldn't be selling it.

Seriously I think If I were on a Vista sales team and someone showed me this to get me excited about selling Vista I would need to exert massive control over myself before I punched them.

It would be a great triumph that I was only fired after saying, "Want me to get excited, why don't you make an OS that doesn't turn computers into, and I quote a Microsoft executive here, 'A 2000.00 dollar email machine,'" as opposed to being arrested for assault after beating my boss.

This is beyond "lipstick on a pig." this is putting bad Bratz branded glitter lipgloss on an ugly, undead rotting vampire pig.

1)

http://machinist.salon.com/feature/2008/03/18/true_enough_excerpt_2/

But many fans of Apple often seem to want more. They care little for honest opinion. They want to pick up the paper and see in it a reflection of their own nearly religious zeal for the thing they love. They don't want a review. They want a hagiography.

2)

http://machinist.salon.com/blog/2007/09/28/unlock_iphone/

"If you care about your rights, don't buy an iPhone"

3)

http://machinist.salon.com/blog/2008/03/27/safari_windows/index.html

"A rocky Windows trek for Apple's Safari browser"

4) http://machinist.salon.com/blog/2008/03/04/apple_library/index.html

"considering all those restrictions, what's the selling-point, again, of Apple TV? Just wondering."

5)

http://machinist.salon.com/feature/2008/01/15/macworld/index.html

Indeed, let me note again that Apple's rental plan, while a feat of movie-business dealmaking, is still a bit lame. It's that 24-hour limit that gets me. Every DVD rental shop in the world lets me rent older titles for more than one day, and the most successful DVD rental company, Netflix, imposes no limits on any movies at all.

I understand you can't read the blog all the time -- you're using a Windows machine, so it's mainly down.*

(*That's a joke, by the way. Did you see my post about how my main machines are XPs? Likely not.)

I made a lot of money over the years as an Windows and NT administrator, from about 1996 to 2002. Every Windows technician worth a dollar an hour knew not to install Microsoft products until at least the first SP came out, if not the second. This dovetails with the line in that horrible video about early-adopters not needing to be skittish since SP1 came out. How sad is it that the release of buggy, crappy products is now so entrenched in MS culture that the sales team's internal motivation now accounts for it? Just pathetic.

First, I feel like I've caught a bit of lameness from watching that video. But it'll pass.

Second, just how excited are you supposed to get as a salesperson tasked with selling a product that conventional wisdom has declared a hopeless piece of crap? I work with loads of die-hard Windows users, and not one of them has chosen to upgrade to Vista. Many of them have managed to track down computer vendors who still sell PCs running XP.

So now, these poor salesmen are supposed to return to their customers and say, I know, I know, Vista sucked, but now it's better because we've got SP1!

Is that a selling point for Windows, that it only runs after you've installed the latest service pack and spent the afternoon getting it to work? Or is it a selling point for Apple, that runs as soon as you turn it on?