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• Thursday, February 19, 2009 01:41 PM

  there but for the grace of God...

  So when my husband and I bought a house, we agreed to make sure that we weren't paying more than one-third of one of our incomes in mortgage, in case one of us lost a job.

  Well, that day has come. My research program lost its funding, and I am now among the underemployed. Because of the nature of his employment I don't expect my husband to lose his job, but what about people who have been doing the right thing and had *both* incomes go up in smoke? Yes, maybe you have savings. But when they run out--and they will--then what?

  And even if one parent is still working, does the monthly paycheck stretch far enough, even if the mortgage is only one-third of it? It used to be more possible to live tolerably well with one breadwinner in the family. These days, having a stay-at-home parent is less a matter of equal rights and more a matter of economic need. My husband and I don't have children, but for those who do, things you might once have yourself foregone (like regular doctor visits and balanced meals) become necessities--and there are all kinds of other unforeseen expenses (*not* involving the latest PlayStation or expensive toy or whatever).

  So I'll be paying for some people who made a mistake about how much house they could buy, or whether they could even afford a house. So what. We're all better off when those people--and their kids--are not out on the street or in homeless shelters, and when they get to keep whatever they did put in. Why is it that we seem to scream the loudest at the littlest transgressors, instead of the big fish?

  —Marianna Trench Read Marianna Trench's other letters
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