Letters to the Editor
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Or maybe you could start drinking tea
A nice Darjeeling first flush. Not the hideous stuff that comes in those paper bags (ugh!)- but the stuff you buy by weight.
Buy an airtight metal canister and a tea strainer with a lid that you can dip into your cup. No fuss, no alarms to break.
Your Buddha would be happier, I think.
But I know what you are going to do. So go ahead and buy a fancier coffee maker. Your taste buds have probably died from all that coffee anyway, so any tea is going to taste flat. You coffee drinkers are all the same. I should know - I married one.
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Better yet
Get yourself a statue of Quan Yin, Chinese goddess of compassion, to preside over your kitchen. We all need compassion first thing in the morning, before coffee.
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Cup
I tip my mug to you, good sir. Enjoy the perk.
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not a Buddha
what you've got there is not a Buddha at all, but the Chinese god of prosperity--I forget the name. It's a common mistake. But Buddha is not the fat laughing guy, in fact, almost the complete opposite. Just so you know.
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Did you glue the heads back on?
A fat laughing Buddha surrounded by headless children - (especially first thing in the morning) is just wrong.
Thanks for the laugh.
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Your Buddha is a Japaness hotei god
Sorry to inform you but the gods with the fat bellies, are hoteis, the Japanese god of giving good things, he comes in various forms but always with the fat belly and bald head, a giver of good things, babies, music, coins, etc. A Buddha is a Chinese God and always is a young man with coils on his head, usually sitting with arms resting on legs crossed. Most people do think the hotei is Buddha so you are not being an idiot but still if you want to write about your god and its importance then please be accurate. There is enough misinformation on the Web.
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Cornhusks and reeds
My cornhusk kitchen witch that I have dangling from a cupboard knob suffices as a charm for my own kitchen, although I also have a Brigid's Cross above the lintel just in case.
Great story, though.
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Are you secretly elitist?
I recall the SF poet's poem, "Banners Of Our Own Choosing", and I wonder why you require some imported exotic god to represent you. Are you secretly elitist? Richard Brautigan might suggest any sort of found object to anchor the lid on yoru protean dreams. Then maybe things are done (were done) differently (In Watermelon Sugar perhaps) on the other side of the bay.
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Rock vs. Buddha
Have you thought about getting a large rock to replace the Buddha's coffee maker duty? I've got a collection of rocks/stones that I move with me every time because they are (1) interesting looking, and (2) useful for such things as propping open a door that won't stay that way on its own or to balance the weight of a houseplant that leans a bit too much for comfort. Perhaps your coffee maker needs just such a rock (igneous works best for these applications), and then the Buddha can smile at your resourcefulness.
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My Buddha's better than your Buddha
Hotei or not, the "Laughing Buddha" has been incorporated into Mahayana Buddhism as a Buddha. Maybe if folks really wanted to split hairs on this, they could say that the Laughung Buddha is not a Buddha according to Theravada traditions.
But using the word "misinformation" when it comes to religion, is a tad redundant, no? :)
And what's with calling the Buddha a Chinese God?
a) He is not a God
b) Considering that he was born in present-day Nepal, he was definitely not Chinese.
And he isn't always a young man with coil on his head, either. Take a look at some of the interpretations in the Gandhara school - from the now destroyed Bamyan sculptures to the "Emaciated Buddha" sculptures depicting the period when he chose ascetism in search of enlightenment. Having one of those in the kitchen would probably cure Mr. Leonard's coffee addiction.
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I recommend using epoxy to glue the kids' heads back on
Krazy Glue's bond is brittle.
Anyhow, regardless of whether the Laughing Buddha is officially a Buddha, he is clearly your Buddha. I wonder if he's trying to tell you that it's time to get a new coffee maker?
And please rub his tummy for me.
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Globalization!
Oddly, this column reminded me of the webcomic Penny Arcade's pithy commentary.
But, let's turn the subject to globalization! You've got a Japanese diety you mistook for another religious figure and you're using it to weigh down a coffee maker using beans probably not grown in this country!
Or am I reaching too? My green tea may not have kicked in yet >_<
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Fabulous.
Tangent? Yes. Even so? Fabulous. Made me laugh my ass off!
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One thing for sure...
Beats using my bronze Gojira to weigh down the timer button on my rice maker. From time to time it pops up before the rice is done, but I found that little statue - a birthday present trucked from the Ginza by my gf's ex, living & translating in Japan this last decade - has his right claw/paw at just the correct height to keep the button down.
Not as amusing as your post, and my Gojira just has a few dings. He's only about 10 years old and fairly durable but there was just enough synchronicity to make think about him.
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Clearly your life is too complex
Your Buddha is laughing because your life has gotten out of hand. You rely on too many mechanisms to prop up an unbalanced lifestyle. Remember the Zen saying: grind beans, boil water.
Your Buddha is also disintegrating because you are, in your own way, following another Zen precept: If you meet the Buddha, kill him.
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A wee tot of last night's ...
left early off the heat to cool
...awful existential bootstrap paradox of having to make coffee before I've drunk any coffee..
...and there's a very gratifying little bit of leftover.
You DO have to learn to like cold..but fresh coffee of this sort.
[There's a movie about it, can't 'member. Ain't had my coffee yet.]
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all those Buddhas
After spending time vacationing in SE Asia the last couple of years I have seen a whole lotta Buddhas. It is interesting how each country/kingdom has its own relatively distinct style. Of course Thai Buddhas look Thai, Cambodian Buddhas have longer earlobes, Burmese Buddhas tend to be more colorful. Since all of these places practice Theravada Buddhism for the most part they all have similar styles with some differences. They also come in a variety of poses each with a different meaning/teaching or representing a different day of the week. At Chinese temples in Thailand you will see more of the fat, smiling statues.