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I think ‘Heard a similar story’ pretty much summed it up -
When he asked why the bottle opener wasn't allowed they said it was because he could use it to seize control of the plane. He responded "that's going to be a problem, because I AM GOING TO BE IN CONTROL OF THE PLANE [I'M THE PILOT!]". In the end, he had to give it.
I suspect that most but not all of the TSA screeners are, how can I put it delicately, "challenged" in terms of their IQ, education, or social skills, maybe all three. Otherwise they would have a nice office job where they wouldn't have to put up with the intellectual and scatological abuse I'm sure they receive on a daily basis from the traveling public. (There is another option of course - that some of them just like screwing with people.)
But keep this in mind. They have to enforce often contradictory and/or inane rules knowing full well that if they screw up they will be reprimanded, could loose what to them I am sure, is a "good job". Or worse some passenger they let through might actually manage to do harm with the object that they okayed.
Next time take the train.