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I try to avoid travelling to the States on friends "buddy" passes or on my partner passes.
Why? Because I ALWAYS get selected for secondary inspection.
Much like your peeve about uniformed personnel getting the third degree, I don't know why but the powers that be seem to think that someone travelling WITH an airline employee, or is as close to a spouse as you can be is deemed a security risk worthy of further inspection.
It makes no sense to me, and detracts attention from those who perhaps are more worthy of the attention of the TSA. Italian grandmothers with pasta sauce for example. Sorry, couldn't resist.
And the airlines are wondering why business is down?