People, if you have a question, don't post it here, spawning crazy new rumors and myths, just write to me directly. There's a link at the end of every column.

Hutman asks: "So... Why didn't we jettison the fuel?"

Proabably because the type of plane you were on did not have a jettisoning system. Not all do.

>>> In another one, an entire engine suddenly shot noisy, "foom"-ing flames out the back for several seconds before dying, at which point all the lights went out and the pilot made a dramatic turn back toward our departure point. <<<

A compressor stall. Pretty harmless, actually. This phenomenon was covered in either of these columns..

http://www.salon.com/tech/col/smith/2005/08/12/askthepilot149/

http://www.salon.com/tech/col/smith/2002/09/13/askthepilot10/

>>> Are airlines required to publicize the number of near-miss scenarios that occur <<<

In all likelihood these weren't near misses. Not by a longshot.

- Patrick Smith

People, if you have a question, don't post it here, spawning crazy new rumors and mythis, just write to me directly. There's a link at the end of every column.

Hutman asks: "So... Why didn't we jettison the fuel?"

Proabably because the type of plane you were on did not have a jettisoning system. Not all do.

>>> In another one, an entire engine suddenly shot noisy, "foom"-ing flames out the back for several seconds before dying, at which point all the lights went out and the pilot made a dramatic turn back toward our departure point. <<<

A compressor stall. Pretty harmless, actually. This phenomenon was covered in either of these columns..

http://www.salon.com/tech/col/smith/2005/08/12/askthepilot149/

http://www.salon.com/tech/col/smith/2002/09/13/askthepilot10/

>>> Are airlines required to publicize the number of near-miss scenarios that occur <<<

In all likelihood these weren't near misses. Not by a longshot.

- Patrick Smith

I know that you like to talk about the aesthetics of flying mostly. Sometimes you get off on the technical aspects.

I am a techie nerd and love the technical sides of the business. I used to read Aviation Week on occasion.

It would be nice to have an occasional article with the technical side fleshed out. How, why, where and when of the designs and design issues.

I was fascinated by the technology of turbine blade which has made all of this possible. What happens when turbine blades fail? What do they do to prevent? For me, this is extremely interesting and I am sure there are many anecdotes and stories about this subject. And this is just one little bit of the technical side with a great deal of human interest.

I've thought about the earthquake thing before. Does that make me a moron?

Given how often planes take off and land from LAX, surely it must have happened at some point. And everyone was fine. Right?

Please?

The lift "thingies" of which you so elloquently misspeak are either ailerons, flaps on vernal generators.

"Thingie" & "foom", huh?

I gather you do NOT play hockey.lol

Airplane ride may or may not make me fart however, airline food does make me puke.

Seriously, could Salon maybe find somebody who's not a complete douchebag?

I really would like to hear about farting in airplanes. It isn't gross. Its funny. My own theory is that the FAs are serving carbonated beverages to a trapped crowd and when you take in lots of fizzy drinks, it has to go somewhere.

I also like the observation about the dove's wingspan and how big our wings would have to be. That's pretty cool.

Patrick,

You mentioned the rules being promulgated for international flights. It gets better. TSA is proposing rules that would screen domestic flights as well. They're supposed to go into effect in February. It's really scary stuff, if you read this article.

http://hasbrouck.org/blog/archives/001286.html

When you talk about the topics for the next column, are you referring to this?:

http://www.10zenmonkeys.com/2007/10/22/prior-permission-from-government-to-be-required-for-each-flight/

This sounds like urban myth to me (or at least massive misunderstanding of proposed legislation), served up at the speed of internet, but I figured I would go to the source for all airline-related debunking.

The reason the dog hair had disapeared: She grabbed the wrong suitcase! That was my first thought and yes, I know, unless she wrote the letter prior to unpacking it wouldn't make sense.

It's true that all fighters are jets (unless you're talking about boxers or Dungeons & Dragons characters or something), but most jets aren't fighters. So there.

... I now declare a moratorium on Monty Python jokes that were funny maybe 30 years ago but are waaaay worn-out by now.

Interesting that you mention that cabins are under cooled. I get really cold on airplanes and snuggle under my coat or hoodie and drink tea the entire time.

There's a good question...

Why is it such a freakin hassle to get hot tea on an airplane? It's less work than making coffee but the tea doesn't show up until everyone has their peanuts and third cup of coffee.

Are you suggesting coconuts are migratory?

I wondered why I would read this column. Today I realized that I just miss my father, who was a funny pilot too.

If your letter does not receive a coveted red star, there truly is no justice in the world. I'll be laughing the rest of the day at that mental image!!

Pehaps if it gripped it by the husk . . . but it IS a matter of weight ratios.

Thanks for sharing those emails / letters. Suddenly I understand

why we have so many many problems in the world.

I hope you get paid a lot of money for your work, cause surely you

have a lot of it to do.

From hence forth I will always be wondering which of my fellow

passengers many have written some of those letters. The good news is I will no longer fear the flight, but rather those whom I share the plane ride with.

I believe that low pressure in the hold makes animal hair come off. At least, that was the conclusion I came to when this happened to me. A much better surprise in your luggage than the discoverey that your shampoo is all over everything you packed!

Patrick, can you confirm? It sounds like we all want to know!

is the swallow carrying a coconut?

Why doesn't Aer Lingus serve that lasagna bolognese with bechamel sauce on their BOS-SNN flights anymore? That was actually pretty good, even for non-airline food. Its much better than the dry ravioli or beef stew they've replaced it with, that's for sure. I can't imagine that passengers are happy with the change.