Letters to the Editor
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Not cosmics
JIM3CH...
Interesting article you posted, nice summary of static electricity. But I point out to you that in the article it says that the easiest way to create static charge is to rub two non-conducting materials together (i.e. luggage-luggage or luggage-conveyor band).
It is true that there is cosmic radiation coming in, but it is not that much. Indeed, if there was enough ionizing cosmic radiation to remove dog hairs from luggage during your flight, you would be dead.
Just to assure readers here who may have some fears of radiation while in the air, it IS true that you get hit by more cosmic rays in the upper atmosphere than you do on the ground, but the levels are still so low that the health risks are negligible, even for pilots and cabin crew.
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Dog Hair
Just be grateful the hair is gone. If it stays on the luggage long enough, it starts to develop dandruff, and then you get - oh, no! - Flakes on a Plane.
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AEROFLOT
The Ukrainian airline is called AEROSVIT, whereas Aeroflot is Russian. There are, of course, Aeroflot flights to Kyiv (note the proper spelling of the Ukrainian city) mostly from Moscow and other Russian points of origin. The author seems to imply that Aeroflot is a an Ukrainian airline.
Boo to that.
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Scene in "Earthquake"
The pilots of the 707 landing in LA during the movie "Earthquake" manage to takeoff again. I believe you pilots call this a "touch and go," correct?
Thanks for the great column.
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Re: Flakes on a Plane
Nicely done!
I had a similar experience with dog hair. In addition, my suitcase had come unzipped and had opened up. Unlike the dog hair, my colorful Speedos did manage to stay attached as they were hanging on the side of the suitcase as they circled the luggage carousel in front of hundreds of amused onlookers. I wonder if the spandex reacts differently than the dog hair to whatever mystical forces are causing this.
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After this, I'll be ready to partake
in a little hair of the dog.
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What is the point of the wasted bits on our hard drives?
You post questions, but no answers. Seems you are missing the A of Q&A
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Response to Your Flight Inquiry
Q: What flights are available from Vizag on 14th October? Thanks & Regards.
Flights departing Vizag (VZG) on October 14:
- Svenborgia ($@©) - departs 10:23 GMT, and
- Grenarnia (£°ß) - departs 14:40 GMT.
Please note that, in order to book either of these flights, you need a credit check demonstrating a net worth of at least 2.5 million krugels†, knowledge of the secret handshake that only rich people know, and a time machine since those flights took off 12 days ago.
† Don't know what a Krugel is? Then you're obviously not rich enough to enter Svenborgia, let alone Grenarnia.
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The answer is Yes.
This column *can* become less relevant, and is now managing to do so weekly.
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I'd like to know...
... the answer to the one about what percentage of fuel is used for take-off. It is probably un-answerable as asked, but if formulated as liters or gallons/min for different parts of a typical flight, maybe?
Fuel-economy in general is an interesting topic. More on that, please. Tell us stuff we didn't even know to ask about!
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Air France
Apparently Air France recently stopped serving croque-monsieur as a snack on its Paris-Reunion flights because it was discovered that gruyere can be quickly and easily converted into a crude explosive using simple items that would not be normally prohibited from one's carry-on luggage.
What would the cheese-to-explosive conversion process be? And what snack, if any, did Air France substitute for Parisians flying to Reunion?
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Xrandadu Hutman
I can tell you're a professional pilot and aeronautical engineer supreme, what with you handy usage of such technical jargon as "thingies" and "foom"!
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My dumb question
Why doesn't Aer Lingus serve that lasagna bolognese with bechamel sauce on their BOS-SNN flights anymore? That was actually pretty good, even for non-airline food. Its much better than the dry ravioli or beef stew they've replaced it with, that's for sure. I can't imagine that passengers are happy with the change.
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yes but
is the swallow carrying a coconut?
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Dog hair answer
I believe that low pressure in the hold makes animal hair come off. At least, that was the conclusion I came to when this happened to me. A much better surprise in your luggage than the discoverey that your shampoo is all over everything you packed!
Patrick, can you confirm? It sounds like we all want to know!
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letters you receive
Thanks for sharing those emails / letters. Suddenly I understand
why we have so many many problems in the world.
I hope you get paid a lot of money for your work, cause surely you
have a lot of it to do.
From hence forth I will always be wondering which of my fellow
passengers many have written some of those letters. The good news is I will no longer fear the flight, but rather those whom I share the plane ride with.
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Migrating swallows
Pehaps if it gripped it by the husk . . . but it IS a matter of weight ratios.
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@gttim
If your letter does not receive a coveted red star, there truly is no justice in the world. I'll be laughing the rest of the day at that mental image!!
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Funny Pilot
I wondered why I would read this column. Today I realized that I just miss my father, who was a funny pilot too.
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Swallows
Are you suggesting coconuts are migratory?
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undercooled cabins
Interesting that you mention that cabins are under cooled. I get really cold on airplanes and snuggle under my coat or hoodie and drink tea the entire time.
There's a good question...
Why is it such a freakin hassle to get hot tea on an airplane? It's less work than making coffee but the tea doesn't show up until everyone has their peanuts and third cup of coffee.
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Okay ...
... I now declare a moratorium on Monty Python jokes that were funny maybe 30 years ago but are waaaay worn-out by now.
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Fighter jets
It's true that all fighters are jets (unless you're talking about boxers or Dungeons & Dragons characters or something), but most jets aren't fighters. So there.
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Dog Hair
The reason the dog hair had disapeared: She grabbed the wrong suitcase! That was my first thought and yes, I know, unless she wrote the letter prior to unpacking it wouldn't make sense.