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Friday, May 25, 2007 12:00 AM

Ask the Pilot

A filthy lobby, sullen-faced employees, no place to sit, and a vague sense of danger all add up to the World's Worst Airport.

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  • Thursday, May 24, 2007 10:47 PM

    Heathrow!

    This airport stuns me every time.

    Example: arrived from Barcelona a few weeks ago and after walking through dingy halls that were last cleaned with the London underground (ie never) took the bus-through-hell: overcrowded, overheated you drive through a rabbits warren of streets, barbed wire looped around windows with toilet paper and plastic bags snagged in them, a lonely piece of expensive luggage sitting on a traffic island.

    Arrived in Terminal 3 - up the stairs and into a long line of people waiting to go to security. As usual there's an anxious staffperson saying 'are you with the x (this time japanese) group going to x (this time Barcelona)?' They nod yes. 'Then follow me!' she shouts, and starts running. The fit young members of the group keep up with her, the older people shuffle along, their dignity gone. Naturally I find them all again thirty minutes later in the queue through security where the staffperson is now arguing with security to let them through the elastic queue guides.

    The last time this happened to me: 'are you going to Sydney? Run!' I ran, leaving the old and infirm to totter behind me, presumably missing their flights.

    This happens every time! I enjoy the comedy of it occasionally, but I don't like it when it's me being told to run and I don't like seeing old people being hassled and stressed like that. Why don't they: get a golf buggy to collect people instead of telling them to run; communicate better between staff so people can be prioritiised through security; orgnise themselves better all round so people aren't told that basically they should get really stressed for nothing becuase now they're on their own?

    Not to mention the extraordinary state of their inter terminal transport and their incredibly lax security at the entrances and exits to the terminals. Except for the implausibility of anyone WANTING to get in there, it would be extremely easy to join a group of discouraged travellers off the bus and into the terminal. After that they'd just have to line up to go through security with everyone else, obediently taking off their shoes, and they'd be through.

    Heathrow - the Bally shop and the Harrods shops, not to mention the first class and business lounges are fun, but what about the ordinary people who have to use your facilities? It's the biggest dump in the first world and it's time to sort it out.

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