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• Friday, May 25, 2007 02:03 AM

  An assortment

  Recent zoos I have flown through

  Marakech -- oh god, filthy, nasty, ripoff central (but not Dakar)

  Kennedy -- not great (except for the Virgin Lounge) and New Yorkers make Parisians seem friendly and helpful

  CDG-Paris -- sprawling, designed by an architect for whom the look of the terminal seemed to matter more than practicality, not helped by the surly Air France staff (only beaten by New Yorkers)

  Dulles -- the security is hell

  Dublin -- in principle a nice ariport, nice people, always getting enlarged to two sizes too small for the traffic, but since the reorganised security that is efficient, baggage delivery sucks, Ryanair are a bunch of gobshites and Aer Lingus wants to catch up

  Shannon -- I hear that since compulsory trans-Atlantic stopovers ended, the Shannon shops now open when flight get in and taxis arive, rather than leaving one 2-hours at the Airport. In the bad old-days when Aeroflot hubbed there the duty free was full of broke Russian fishermen on leave (from Cuba mostly) wandering around looking at all the nice stuff they could not buy.

  Heathrow -- oh god. The only good news is that the British Airports Authority is likely to be broken up as a result of the Ferroviare takeover, and their management at Heathrow and Gatwick seem to love the idea -- what else could explain the jaw-dropping incompetence -- the security lines not opened despite massive queus, the elevators and escalators broken for months, the dirt and dinge (and the birdshit covering the walls of one baggage hall, I think terminal 1.) Terminal 2 (andyone who thinks 1 or 3 are bad need to see 2) This is when you realise Britain is a third world country, this is when investment goes to Ireland.

  Chicago O'Hare's United Terminal -- hey its run by United, which means it's going to be grim and it is, and United check-in is the worst, most half witted I have ever seen. But could they get some decent food -- not Chillis.

  Bankok -- not bad actually

  Tokyo -- not too bad, too far out, and remember if you are going to take the Nippon Express train, Tokyo stations do not have luggage carts, including about 100 meters of Narita station

  Zurich - as dull as the Zurchers, do not find yourself in Zurich airport for hours.

  Munich -- check in as late as possible, crap terminal (do not know about Lufthansa)

  Marseilles Marielle -- dull place to be stuck for more than an hour.

  Washington National Airport (no one with a brain calls it Reagan) -- pretty decent

  San Francisco -- suffers from the United dominance -- so it can be grim

  Rome -- nice country, good food, what happened at the Airport? yikes.

  Brussels-Zaventem -- its been a while, so-so

  Amsterdam -- clean, well laid out, dull place to eat, go into Amsterdam.

  Alicante -- nice country, good food, what happened at the Airport? yikes BAAAAAD English food in the pub, burger king - why no Tapas

  Barcelona -- security slow

  Seoul - ok but the taxi drivers into the city!!

  Lisbon - ok

  Montpellier - ok

  Rochester NY -- hmmm, btter than Rochester the city

  Istambul -- ok

  —MacK.. Read MacK..'s other letters
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