Letters to the Editor
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one I've always been curious about...
...is "purser." I'm assuming this is some kind of ancient jargon relating to the person in charge of the money on a ship or something, but what is its relevance to a modern air crew?
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Nice list....
In terms of the crew speaking during the flight I think for me it all depends. Although I no longer fly as mush for a number of years I travelled in excess of 200,000 miles per year. I could recite all the safety information from memory. I usually did not like a very chatty pilot ("Right now we're flying over Topeka, my hometown") but at times they can be quite illuminating. There is nothing like flying at night in the early evening arounf July 4th. Or cirling around some weather and seeing the storm inside.
I HATE it when the SW flight attendants do a floor show.
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What's the technical term for
Solid plutonium clusterfuck during a shitstorm in hell? You know, Wednesday.
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I do believe...
Patrick,
I do believe that "the 'Expressway Visual' to Runway 31" has a sharp left turn with a view of Shea Stadium out of the left side of the airplane, rather than a right turn (that would be a REALLY sharp turn, to go around Shea).
I have been part of that landing (and the related takeoff which does have a sharp right turn) many times and also watch it all the time while driving on the Grand Central Parkway. Man, you get some great views of LGA landings while stuck in traffic at the beginning/end of those runways. Planes so close to your hood you could spit on them.
But the best "approach" to LGA has to be when you are on the right side on the plane late at night and the route requires the plane to travel up the Hudson along the West Side of Manhattan and then takes a U-turn over the Bronx. You end up getting the most amazing view of Manhattan and, eventually, every bridge in the metro area. Breathtaking, no matter how man times I see it (I believe Patrick has mentioned this approach before).
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By this definition of "final approach"
I think "final approach" to Tegucigalpa, Honduras takes about five seconds.
The airport-speak I would like translated, please, is "Maintain visual contact with your personal property at all times."
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Announcements
I can recall (and this was years before Southwest became notorious for this sort of thing) hearing an announcement from the pilot that began, "This is your old Captain Bob, talking to you from the pointy end of the airplane..."
I also remember arriving in White Plains after a particularly bumpy trip on a turboprop from Baltimore (they ran out of airsickness bags, that's how bad it was) and hearing the flight attendant announce: "Welcome to Westchester County Airport. Please leave by the front door, where we'll be handing out medals."
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How come you never talk about the
Gremlins on the wings?
All these columns, and nothing about Gremlins? Why do you persist in maintaining the cover up?
When were they first seen? What is their motivation? Why do they seem intent on downing aircraft? Do they really live in the clouds?
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Tarmac (to be explained next week)
A little history and a little irritation. There once was a Scottish engineer named MacAdam, who developed a method for surfacing roads using compaction of graduated sizes of crushed stone. These superior road surfaces became commonly known as macadam. An improvement of the original process involved use of tar as a binder of the stone particles. These roads were tarred macadam or "tarmac" - more readily known by engineers in this country as "asphalt cement concrete" and by the public as "asphalt pavement." This stuff creeps like mud under load in warm weather, and no sane person would park a modern heavy jet on it. Thus, it bugs me when every reporter and announcer uses the term "tarmac" to refer to airport taxi and parking areas.
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"Doors to Arrival"
Reports analyzing Prince William's doomed romance with Kate Middleton noted that Will's privileged friends would deride mom Caroline's career as a flight attendant by saying "Doors to Manual" when Kate entered the room. I'd wondered if FA's on American carriers used a different phrase and why they even bothered to announce it, since it was obvious the plane was on the ground and pressurization wouldn't prevent the door from being open. Thanks for answering both questions, Patrick!
(I was also surprised that so many aristocrats in Britain fly on BA rather than private jets and that privileged youth would even note the announcement "Doors to manual." Activity in the cabin is so hectic after the plane pulls in at the gate that I don't ever recall hearing an announcement "Doors to arrival" or the equivalent.)
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Patrick... Speaking of Definitions,
How about delving into the differences between these terms: EVENT, INCIDENT, ACCIDENT?
I recall an incident where where a 777 climbing out of JFK struck the instrument package of a weather balloon a few minutes into the flight. The point of impact was on the fuselage skin, just above the FO's windshield. The captain elected to press on to LHR, to howls of protest from the airline's maintenance organization (to which I belonged).
On arrival, only superficial scratches were found and there were, of course, no injuries, but two debates raged for days:
1) the wisdom of continuing a flight with possible structural damage (invisible to the crew) and...
2) was this an EVENT, INCIDENT, of ACCIDENT? Certain participants in this debate insisted this was a "mid-air collision" between two air vehicles, thus an ACCIDENT.
Your thoughts?
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On formal speech over the intercom
I do not work for an airline, this is just my personal opinion.
Saying things like "at this time" and "the off position" and "we do remind you" adds an air of formality and authority to intercom pronouncements. While experienced air travelers such as Mr. Smith will not need the added authority for such announcements, there will be many others who will benefit from such wording.
Having said that, We do appreciate your choosing United is over the top.
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Nautical mile/Knot
Dear Patrick,
This may not be the only comment you get on this one, but here’s mine.
Actually, according the Wikipedia article quoted here, “The nautical mile was historically defined as a minute of arc along a meridian of the Earth. It can therefore be used for approximate measures on a meridian as change of latitude on a nautical chart.
According to WGS84, radius of curvature in a meridian plane is 6 356 752.3 metres at the poles and 6 378 137 metres at the Equator. By the definition of geodetic latitude, length of the minute of arc depends on the radius of curvature; distance to the angle (1 minute, in this case), not to the Earth's centre. This length equals to approx. 1849.12 metres at the poles and 1855.34 metres at the Equator.
Length of a minute of arc defined by the geocentric latitude depends on the distance from the Earth's centre (and curvature). This length is greater at the Equator.
Other nations had different definitions of the nautical mile. International agreement was achieved in 1929, when the International Extraordinary Hydrographic Conference held in Monaco adopted a definition of one (1) international nautical mile as being equal to 1,852 metres exactly. This value is very close (within 0.01 percent) to the average length of one minute of latitude (1852.235 m), i.e. the sea-level surface distance between the Earth's poles is marginally over 180×60=10800 nautical miles”
It was only a coincidence that it was close to the length of a statute mile. I don’t think anyone ever used a +/- 6000-foot knoted rope to measure distance at sea, but I could be wrong.
Respectfully,
John Trask
Thousand Oaks, CA