Letters to the Editor
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I love Burbank!
Airport for precisely that reason. It is much fun to get on and off the plane using stairways. It's also a lot faster to since they usually let passengers on from forwards and aft doorways.
However a) the wheelchair bound have a tough time of it there, and b) isn't the whole terminal going to be replaced because it is too close to the runway? Will that ever happen?
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Patrick's musings...
...are OK with me, but the structure of the article would be a bit easier to deal with if there was some sort of ellipsis between paragraphs so readers will realize that he just switched topics.
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Access controls work...that's why they are no drugs in prison.
Right? I mean, everybody knows that there are no drugs, illegal weapons or any other kind of contraband in prisons. And with the crack minimum-wage TSA screeners on duty, we'll accomplish a similarly sterile safe zone inside our airports any day now.
I jest, of course. Every time I hear the inane '3-1-1' announcement at the airport I marvel at the sheeple mentality that seems to pervade the flying public.
Who is dreaming this stuff up? (Paging Mr. Kafka, Mr. Kafka to the TSA Department of Redundancy Department, please)
Pretty soon one of the crack TSA experts will figure out one or more of the following:
- Drug mules have been smuggling pounds and pounds of illicit substances in body cavities since the mid-70s: so let's have cavity searches for everybody
- Plastic explosive is PLASTIC and can be shaped into anything you'd like, including fabric, socks, carry-ons, pastes of any kind, etc.
- Many explosives are POWDERS
- You can't make triacetone triperoxide (the alleged liquid bomb) in an airplane toilet
- Strapping a gallon bag of liquid whatever to your leg will not set off the metal detector
I have come to the conclusion that the rigid, Pavlovian enforcement of these absurd carry-on restrictions has the same underlying reason as the absence of any kind of control, dial, and regulator (except the on/off switch) on cooking equipment at McDonalds: the staffing policy is actively targeting a 'sheltered workshop' type individual who cannot be trusted with individual decisions.
Time to Fly!
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sudoku
ha, i'm glad someone else agrees with me about the supposed Sudoku craze. This phenomenon seems to have swept America while I was away living in Germany for a year in 2005-2006. When i got back, those damn things were everywhere - books everywhere, seeing people do them at work and on planes, talking about them on blogs I read. I didn't fully get the obsession at first, then I actually tried a few, and then I really didn't get the obsession. Sure, they're mildly entertaining and require people to think somewhat quantitatively and analytically (hmm... maybe I shouldn't be complaining?), but it's basically just a glorified logic puzzle. (Did I say "glorified"? I meant "simplified".) I used to do those all the time. When I was 12. They're child's play. It's no different than puzzles and brain teasers middle-school boys are obsessed with for a couple years, but grow out of by the time they get to high school. It's really bafelling to me how fads get created and catch on. Oh well.... i guess that's why I'm not raking in the money for publishing those books.
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Rename Newark Airport "Prall International"
The Pilot said: "And although I had no love -- who could? -- for the drabness of "Newark International," the pseudo-patriotic puffery of "Newark Liberty International" is almost unbearable." "Meanwhile, the Statue of Liberty, an icon of New York City, is barely a wingspan away. Still. "Hudson River International" would have served the same cause, and has a lot more character."
I have a better idea. Rename the airport "Prall International". Go to Google Maps and enter 'Newark NJ' and then find the airport. Place it in the upper left, and see the Statue of Liberty just north of east. Find "Prall's Island" just west of south, but at 70% of the distance measured from the upper-right or lower-right airport corner as appropriate.
Anyway, why rename chips "freedom fries" while simultaneously hanging the name of a French gift on an airport? Seems to cancel out the "two minute hate" against the French demanded by Big Brother.
Calling it "Prall International" or even better "Praal International" would honor my 8xGreat-grandfather Arendt Jansen Praal who lived on Staten Island in Neiuw Amsterdam, Neiuw Nederlands next door, recorded as early as 1660, tho the name was later Anglicised to Prall.
Prall's Island is now a bird sanctuary. And what is an airport but a mechanical bird sanctuary?
So what could be better than "Prall International"?
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Hey, I *like* Sudoku
The books are small, they don't need batteries, they don't annoy my fellow passengers with beeping noises, and they keep me from clawing the arm rests. I'm a nervous flier. Intellectually, I know flying is safer than driving, but some corner of my brain is worried that someone will revoke Bernoulli's Law half-way off the tarmac.
Best of all, you can throw those Sudoku books in the trash when you reach your destination without offending the author.
And I don't expect everyone to share my preferences.
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Two more pleasant things about BUR
One: In the corridor between A and B they have some aerial photos of their impressive WWII camouflage--check it out next time and play spot the airport!
And two: It's not LAX.
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I hate Sudoku too, Patrick
I hate it because it's numbers but it's not math. If it were math I might be interested, but it's not. It's just groups of numbers waiting to be rearranged. You could have little pictures if puppies and kitties and have essentially the same effect, but the numbers are there to make it look challenging. Plus, most adults wouldn't be caught dead with the puppies/kitties thing.
But hey, if it keeps the people in their seats and not whining at me the whole flight about why there are no pillows/magazines/food/movies, I'm all for it.
Because, hey, I've got crossword puzzles to do.
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Zzz
Another slow week in aviation, eh, Patrick?
And soon--a glossary! Oooh!
Hey, how's that 737 rudder repair investigation coming along?
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It's easy to find crunched computers
After several very close calls with obnoxious seat-slamming passengers who almost shattered my laptop, I also wondered about how many times folks succeed in destroying someone's computer--and who pays for it when that happens. One interesting thing I discovered is that you can find a nice range of "half laptops" on eBay, usually at very attractive prices. All of them seem to have the screens ripped off....
As for "Ask the Pilot," I purchased my copy of at an airport Borders when I was stranded at LAS for 9 hours about a month ago. The store had a nice little bundle of them displayed in the travel section.