Letters to the Editor
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Liquids distracting from real threats
Test after test has shown no improvement in screeners' abilities to detect explosives and weapons since screening was implemented in the 70s. Here's another example: Last week airport screeners at Newark missed 20 out of 22 planted weapons and explosives. http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2003327485_screeners28.html
Forcing screeners to waste time scrutinizing toothpaste can't be helping. But I don't think most individual screeners are to blame. The class prejudice evident in many readers' comments is unjustified. Screeners know very well they are being forced to act illogically. That doesn't take a college degree. But they do not have the authority to change policies that are implemented in great detail from above. It's frustrating and dehumanizing for them as well as for travelers. Imagine: You have taken a low-paying, boring job to try to cover your bills. The only bright side is that at first you feel you might make a difference in keeping people safe. Then, you are forced to quibble over the size of ziploc bags while checked luggage goes unexamined. Is it any wonder screeners are surly?
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Security Checks are a Shambles
Flying out of Los Angeles LAX the other day, I was shocked at the mess the TSA seemed to have organized there. Three lines of passengers met at a single point, where a bunch of TSA employees I can only characterize as "kids" were trying to control the flow of traffic.
It was never entirely clear to me or any of the other passengers -- there was a lot of grumbling going on -- exactly what the process was. We had to stop and wait while the stairs in front of us cleared, then some of us (one line at a time? the first few people from each line?) would move forward on command (from the boy to the left? the girl standing next to him? the girl at the top of the stairs?). Then, at some point (after a certain number of people had moved onto the stairs? at the command of a TSA kid...if so, which kid?), the line would stop again, while the stairs cleared.
It seemed to me that a single bright kid who knew what he was doing could have controlled this line, assuming that the stairs actually needed to be kept clear. (But why did the stairs need to be clear? That certainly wasn't obvious.) Instead we had three or four kids, none of whom were polite and one or two of whom were on the arrogant side, each working at cross purposes to each other...one waving people on, another telling them to stop.
What a shambles. If this is Team America, keeping us safe from Team Al Qaeda, God help us all.
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Passengers kept safe from pastrami sandwich...
In September, flying back from Las Vegas to Seattle, I brought a corned beef sandwich from Carnigie deli... through the hour-long line we went, finally to the x-ray scanner. "There's something in there. Sir are you bringing any liquids or gels?" Uh,no. I have a sandwich. "Step over here, we need to go through your bag." To the cubicle we go, me and the TSA guy, who, thankfully perhaps, was more of a comic book collector type than a "I have a UNIFORM!" sort. "Sir, you can't bring this aboard. Oh, I see... the Russian dressing, a clear threat. "You can't bring liquids aboard." "It's not a liquid," I noted. "Yes, but it's a gel." "No, it's not a gel. It's an emulsion." "Sir, I can't let you bring this aboard." "What if I spread it on the sandwich?" "It's too late sir, you are not allowed to touch it anymore." "So if it was on my sandwich I could have brought it aboard?" "Sir, I don't make the rules."
A few minutes later, without the dressing, another passenger sat down across the aisle holding a big box of Krispy Kremes. I had to ask.
"Are there any jellies in there?"
"Of course!"
"Didn't they make you suck the jelly out?"
So if you want to bring aboard your shampoo, hand sanitizer or Russian dressing, smuggle it in a doughnut.
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Passengers kept safe from sandwich...
In September, flying back from Las Vegas to Seattle, I brought a corned beef sandwich from Carnigie deli... through the hour-long line we went, finally to the x-ray scanner. "There's something in there. Sir are you bringing any liquids or gels?" Uh,no. I have a sandwich. "Step over here, we need to go through your bag." To the cubicle we go, me and the TSA guy, who, thankfully perhaps, was more of a comic book collector type than a "I have a UNIFORM!" sort. "Sir, you can't bring this aboard. Oh, I see... the Russian dressing, a clear threat. "You can't bring liquids aboard." "It's not a liquid," I noted. "Yes, but it's a gel." "No, it's not a gel. It's an emulsion." "Sir, I can't let you bring this aboard." "What if I spread it on the sandwich?" "It's too late sir, you are not allowed to touch it anymore." "So if it was on my sandwich I could have brought it aboard?" "Sir, I don't make the rules."
A few minutes later, without the dressing, another passenger sat down across the aisle holding a big box of Krispy Kremes. I had to ask.
"Are there any jellies in there?"
"Of course!"
"Didn't they make you suck the jelly out?"
So if you want to bring aboard your shampoo, hand sanitizer or Russian dressing, smuggle it in a doughnut.
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I watched someone pay the price for security screening the other night . . .
The other night (or morning - 12:30 AM) I was at our local airport waiting for my wife to arrive. Everyone congregates near the screening area because that's where the passengers emerge. Nice area - lots of money was spent to upgrade the airport recently, and I have to admit they did a nice job. A soaring roof over the security area, granite floors, etc. Wish I had a photo of it. Not quite as nice as Vancouver (BC), but nice. Although they designed it before the security theater got to be quite so extravagant, and so it's been cluttered up a little.
Anyway, I was sitting in a chair waiting for my wife when I heard something hit the floor behind me. Poor guy had his notebook in one of those ubiquitous grey tubs. On those ubiquitous stainless steel tables. And had bumped it off the back of the table. Onto granite. Probably totalled his notebook.
This owner was probably using a business-owned notebook, because his reaction was pretty muted. He was obviously upset, but he didn't lose his temper or display any signs beyond saying over and over, "Well, I guess I'll find out if it's working when I get where I'm going." But as an IT guy who supports hundreds of notebooks, my heart went out to him.
But I got to thinking. It's one thing if you do it to yourself. But imagine if (in the standard hurry, because there's a very long line of people) you accidentally bump someone else's notebook. Not really your fault - it's a fucking zoo in there, and YOU never wrote the rules that insist on vulnerable pieces of equipment travelling around in unsecured containers on slippery metal tables. Not TSA's fault - they didn't bump it. Not the owner's fault - he was required to place it on the table. And yet someone has to shell out one to two grand (luckily notebooks are cheaper these days).
Nasty question. The _decent_ thing would be for the TSA to cover it, no matter who knocked it off the table. Personally, if it happened in Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport (now you know why we have such a nice airport!), I'd contact his constituent relations people and raise a bloody stink, and hopefully a squeaky wheel might get a little grease. But the whole thing is a potential nightmare. So be careful.
--Toby Ovod-Everett