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I think another reason why people are so anxious about flying is that, no matter how statistically safe flying is, the passenger has to give up control by the very nature of being a passenger. It's the height of delusion: the person flying the plane had to go through years of training; you, if you're lucky, got a semester's of driver's ed, and are on the road with thousands of other people and variables you can't control. Yet because you "know" you're a good driver (and just about everyone "knows" that they're a good driver) you feel safe behind the wheel of a car in a way that you don't sitting in an airplane, because you don't have any influence over the situation.
Personally, I know that I'm a a terrible driver, and I haven't actually driven a car in years ... maybe that's why I don't get anxious while flying.
jf