"I don't treat my children "that way" either."

Nor do I.

"But I see many parents who do."

So do I.

"We live in a very competitive area where parents begin to strategize how they'll get Suzy or Timmy into Harvard practically the day they see the pink "+". Their children must be stars:"

I know what you mean. What I take exception to is the idea that this is how "we" treat our children. You don't, I don't, many parents don't. It's how *SOME* - not all - parents behave. And it's just wrong.

"The fact that Ms. Sey's parents ignored the fact that she was depressed and probably suffering from anorexia says a lot about where they were coming from: it was all about their daughter's medals, not their daughter. I don't see how you can interpret that any other way."

Read what Ms. Sey herself says about it here:

http://calitreview.com/713

Her exact words:

Ms. Sey: "I was a very driven and competitive child and continue to be those things, as an adult today. I think it’s just something born into people. Many kids play sports but few endure to the highest levels. It takes a unique combination of drive and affinity. One cannot endure the intensity of the practices, the physical demands, the injuries and the stress of high level competitions unless there is an innate and fiery drive inside."

To me that says it was *her* dream and *her* desire. That doesn't mean her parents didn't make mistakes:

Ms. Sey (about her parents): "We had a hard time for several years following my gymnastics. But we are very close today. I recognize that I drove a lot of what happened. They had a momentary lapse in judgment towards the end which they have apologized for profusely. I recognize that parents make mistakes. And we were all accountable in some ways. We’re good now."

She says her parents made mistakes "towards the end". But also says "we were all accountable in some ways".

And when asked about the final result, she says"

Ms.Sey: "It was worth it. Definitely."

That says to me that, in her case, it wasn't all about the parents pushing her.

"this is not only about athletics not about gymnastics, not about swimming, or any other sport. It is also not only about children violin virtuosos, baby actors, child beauty pageants, or chess prodigies."

I agree.

"It is about how we treat children (yes, we) in our culture."

Who do you mean by "we"? I don't treat children that way and neither do you. Nor do most of the parents I know. (Then again, I shy away from parents who do).

There is no "we" involved.

"So, banning gymnastics, whatever, begs the question."

No, it doesn't.

The big question is, how should things change to avoid such abuse? How does anyone recognize what is right for a truly talented kid, and what isn't?

It's easy to say "there's a problem". What's hard is to come up with real-world solutions. I'm asking for real-world solutions.

--

I can understand Ms. Sey being angry about what happened. I can understand her being angry about some fans who are critical yet have no idea what is really involved in reaching the top levels of anything.

What I am critical of is the tone of her article that says others don't know struggle, don't know sacrifice, don't know what it is to be a kid who works very hard for something. And the statements that unless someone has reached the "elite" level, they haven't really participated in a sport.

reminds me of a simpson's episode when the newscaster referred to the medals as "glorious gold, so-so silver, and shameful bronze".

It would seem Ms. Sey still is still looking for the approval that drove her to starve herself and endure punishement to become an "elite athelete".

That she no longer receives the due she feels she deserves she has no other option but to lavish it upon herself in narcicisstic zeal; raising herself up by deminishing others.

Her premise is sound, many people don't appreciate the work that goes into being a professional athelete, but conversely Ms. Sey doesn't appreciate the work that goes into pretty much every human endevor that is done well.

And just as you might get frustrated with your waitress because she is not at your beck and call immedeatly when you wish her to be, sometimes people get frustrated by the inability of their heros to live up to their expectations.

If Ms. Sey had left her critique at those who teardown what is otherwise a great accomplishment her point of view would have been fine, but she had to, in her own narcissistic way, make it all about herself. About how no one can understand what she and those like her have endured, how we can't even come close to understanding how special she and other "elite" atheletes are.

And that is why we get frustrated with "elite" atheletes. If you are going to take the stand that you are better than everyone else, and deserving of our praise, then you better damn well live up to it.

Now, if like our current olypic heros, you temper each win with humility and grace and goodsportsmanship, we will lavish you with praise win or lose. And what is more we will feel for your losses because we know how hard you competed. With vain pompus atheletes like Ms. Sey we long for their failure for the reminder to their over inflated egos that they too are human. But for those who understand their own mortality and difficulty of the games they play, we cheer regardless of outcome.

With modern Olympians what seperates the best time from the second best time or even the worst time are intervals that most people don't deal with on a regular basis. At their peak an amature might have come within mear seconds of an olympians time, and the differnce just doesn't seem that much in the real world, though they too know that it is a chasim in the world of sport.

If you want to feel special try doing something special right now, don't just dwell on how special you once were, because quite frankly no one cares.