I get a little nervous when the media starts reporting on itself, but the Sap-o-Meter is a work of minor genius that deserves to be seen.

So why isn't epic included? Merely overused and not actually sappy? If you put it in a drinking game, you'd be wasted by breakfast.

Finds these self-impressed commentators frequently saying, "lay," when they mean, "lie."

You know, I used to really like Trautwig.

His work with road cycling and cross country skiing has been brilliant. These are not exciting sports. The races take a long time. They are hard and draining. There is inherent sap and emotion, but not excitement.

Trautwig makes them epic. War & Peace epic. Tests of humanity epic. His over the top style balances out their lack of excitement. And then, when they DO get exciting during those final stretches, the audience is ready for it.

But he is wrong for gymnastics. This is an exciting sport. It can be beautiful. And there is far too much going on for there to be any need for him to demonstrate how little he knows about the sport. He sucks up air time, and he adds virtually nothing.

On the other hand, the diving commentary has been much better. The analysts there explain more about diving in 30 seconds than the gymnastics broadcasters have in a week. The pictures are good enough to make play-by-play unnecessary, and the color analyst adds her expertise, teaching the audience so that they make understand and enjoy the sport more.

Another bon mot, oozing solemnity, gravely intoned: "Redemption."

It's been invoked so often that I'm expecting Pope Benedict to appear as guest announcer.

"I want that cute little American girl with the thick strong thighs to beat the larger, less attractive American girl who never smiles."

"There's a difference between having small new boobs and having no boobs at all. What's the deal with these Chinese gymnasts?"

Anyone who completed a race, made it through the Olympic trials (did I just use a sap word without meaning to?), fought back from defeat in Athens/Sydney/the world championships/cancer/heartbreak/etc. showed perseverance to get to Beijing. A distance race? A triathlon? A grueling equestrian event? Perseverance got them through.

Isn't it the nature of someone who dedicates their life to ANYTHING worthwhile or meaningful that they exemplify perseverance? What's wrong with losing the word and stressing the fact that so many of the rest of us are just plain weak? I have no problem with that. I do, however, have a problem with lazy journalism and on-air commentators seemingly tasked to repeat themselves ad nauseum.

Good call, King. Keep the sap-o-meter charged and at the ready. Chances are it's going to overload with the closing ceremonies.

Though not quite as sappy, if you added the word "wow", Tim and Elfi would cover the spread all by themselves.