Letters to the Editor
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cliches
No question that there is nothing more insufferable than a run of sports cliches strung together -- but that's only from the outside looking in. Sometimes in the heat of a sports contest precisely what you need to be told, no matter how many times you've been there, is the most obvious seeming thing: Slow down. Relax. Don't force it, etc...
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Memories
I remember an early attempt at capturing coaches' wisdom during timeouts in the NBA playoffs: Billy Cunningham to Maurice Cheeks "Mo - when you get the ball don't f--- around!"
I'm guessing the 76ers didn't have a media consultant back then, but that's a good thing IMO.
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Sound... OK
Golf coverage sound has made some major changes this year, and they suck hard.
1) There's a new fetish for ambient sound, to the extent that (especially on links courses) the constant WHOOSH of wind noise is ALL you can hear -- those indistinct murmurs that are not quite getting through that blanket of wind are the announcers calling the action....
2) How wonderful that parabolic mikes now can listen to every word exchanged between the golfers and their caddies. I feel dirty after being provided with this once-private soundtrack....
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Substitutions
Good column, and I totally agree that most of what we hear on these audio segments is equally as inane as the stuff these guys say in post-game interviews.
But re. substitutions, I have to point out something about my ever-woeful Denver Nuggets: George Karl benched Allen Iverson for all but a minute or so of the fourth quarter during their devastating loss on Saturday. Jeez, I hope that move wasn't decided upon before tip-off.
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Gametime isn't Genius Time
You're not going to hear genius during a timeout or even during halftime. During the game is a HORRIBLE time to try to invent a strategy or even a play. Strategy in a game is all about applying what you already know and have practiced. That's why all the exhortations -- they're reminders of the things they've already identified as being factors that contribute to winning against the ball club you're playing.
Real coaching genius, at least of an Xs and Os variety, happens every day at practice. That's where a team's character is formed. So Webber was right, but he had the wrong guy. Barkley was right, he had the wrong guy. The Pistons take on Saunders' identity, not Dumars', because that is what they get every day in practice. Any genius he has for diagraming plays or preparing his players happens there.
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Those bleeping parabolic mics.
The reference to the use of these mics in golf broadcasts reminded me that, thanks to this innovation, I've been able to hear Tiger Woods exclaim, "Fuck!" at least three times in the past two years, after he's hit a poor shot. (Not to mention a memorable, "Tiger, you dumb ass!") I don't hold this against Tiger at all - he's a competetive guy, and sometimes "Aw, shucks" just doesn't give you the emotional release you need. But I do find it amusing that the golf broadcast gurus continue to put a live mic on him, knowing there's a good chance he'll violate the old "Seven Words You Can't Say On Television" doctrine.
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At least the players get paid to listen!
My baseball coaches give speeches before, during and after games. We're talking about upper 20 to mid 30 year old men getting little league pep talks in game 3 of a 20 game season. I am happy other people have to suffer likewise, although in person, making fun of the coaches without upsetting them takes greater effort.
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Can someone give us the C-Span Sports Channel please...
just once i'd like to see an NBA basketball coach, with the cameras rolling in anticipation of a rousing pre-game pep-talk, to simply take a deep breath and tell his team, "guys, i got nothing, see you out on the court", then just turn and walk away in silence.
ever notice at the end of games, the coach calls a timeout to setup a play (with plenty of time left), and the team ends up taking a wild fadeaway 30 footer? the coaches are all about BS showmanship and being one of the public faces of the team -- they have to do all the stomping and arguing with refs etc to just keep their persona going.
my BS meter is on such high-alert these days, that as soon as i see willie randolph with a headset on in the dugout, or the "Wired" graphic on the screen, or yet another football coach getting ready for a locker room talk, i can't get to my remote fast enough to hit the mute button.
someday, a smart sports TV person will give us the c-span sports channel -- with no commentators at all, just the action. to fox sports et al, i just wanna watch the games, i don't need them previewed, described, or analyzed by anyone for me -- not that i'm all-knowing, it's just that i don't care what anyone has to say about them. i watch sports for the action itself and nothing more.
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I like it!
I absolutely love the idea, they just don't always pick the amusing bits. Sometimes it can be genuinely enlightening, or incredibly charming - I'm thinking of Allen Iverson, standing up from the bench during the All Star Game, watching Chris Paul coming down on a fast break: "Yeah! Good pass, boy!" like he was cheering for his kid's peewee league. Or when they show a coach's inside joke with a ref, or the opposing coach, or just catch him saying something about the halftime act. (Byron Scott, Sunday night: "Nasty. That's just nasty.") Even the boring "keep rebounding" speeches are a nice glimpse into their world for those of us who are sports fans but not sports players. So I say they just need better editors picking better soundbites.
Now, if they'd stop interviewing Eva Longoria or someone's grandpa while there's a game going on, that would be nice. But this stuff happens while there's nothing going on anyway, so no harm done. Easily the least offensive gimmick they offer.
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coaching basketball ...
is about as close as you can come to playing while coaching. It's intense, you're close to the action, and you are constantly making decisions - split second ones - based on fluctuating variables like score, time, match ups, fouls, etc.
You usually have less than one minute to get your point across during a time out. There's no time for a lot of long-winded eloquence. You have to talk in a way that your players understand. You've already worked out a lot of it in practices, anyway. So you keep it short and simple. That may not seem impressive to the casual observer, but it tells you something that it's what the coaches in the best league in the world are doing.