"The Texans worked out banned sprinter Justin Gatlin this week. Turns out he's really fast."

I hate it when people write "two words" and then follow it with someone's name, since most names are two words and that's kind of obvious. So, one name: Renaldo Nehemiah. Most unforgettable hit I can remember. Gatlin will need a lot more juice if he's ever going to get into an NFL game.

From what I can make out just observing and listening, from sports to politics, if we could just get rid of the media it would be a perfect world.

KK says: So the obscene gesture cost him $10,000 per hand, the media duly noted. But that's just such a shallow analysis. It drives me crazy. You want to know what it really cost him? $3,333.33 per knuckle.

At three knuckles per finger, I make it just $666.67 per knuckle.

King, how do you type with just one knuckle per finger? This is a clear example of not being able to count even using your fingers.

A more complete text of Vick's apology than King offered earlier this week, from ESPN.com:

"He just said certain things I won't say in front of this camera," Vick said at a news conference. "It was very inappropriate. I was down, upset, frustrated. I just did one thing I've never done through all the games I've ever lost, no matter how frustrated I've been after a game. I don't know where it came from, but the people who know me know that's not me and that's not my character."

"I'm sorry and I apologize to all the young kids and to whoever saw me make that gesture," he said. "I just let my emotions get the best of me in that situation and it won't happen again."

"I would have never thought that six years into my career I would ever do something like that," Vick said.

"It will never happen again. Never."

About his fine, from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

"Falcons quarterback Michael Vick plans to donate $5,000 to the family of Atlanta firefighter Steven Solomon, who died Wednesday from cardiac arrest after fighting a fire on Thanksgiving Night.

The NFL mandated that Vick make a $10,000 charitable donation as part of his punishment doled out by the league for making obscene gestures toward fans following a 31-13 loss to the New Orleans Saints at the Georgia Dome Sunday. Vick also will donate $5,000 to teammate Warrick Dunn's Foundation, which helps single mothers become homeowners. Vick also must pay the NFL a $10,000 fine.

"I gave this a lot of thought and realized that there are thousands of worthy charities that could benefit from these funds," Vick said. "But when I heard that Mr. Solomon died after fighting a fire on Thanksgiving while most of us were at home with our own families, it really touched me. My heart goes out to his family. At the same time, I truly admire the work Warrick does through his foundation and I wanted to support the families he serves as well."

Vick's character has taken a beating lately, but if this is a portrait of a bad guy, or of someone who won't take responsibility for himself, I don't see it here.

Your math/anatomy skills are as good as your skill at writing satire, my wigga. After that regrettable display yesterday, your inability to pick the winners in the NFL each week makes more and more sense. You really aren't a very good writer or wit, but who cares? Lot's of people aren't very good at their jobs--like the fellows who cover the Giants. It's like a perfect circle of suckiness.

If I catch your candy-ass in here one more time, I'm going to introduce it to my steel toe work boot.

= 3,333.33 per knuckle.

King was referring to were the three on the extended middle finger...but there were two middle fingers so that's 6 knuckles which makes it $1,666.67 per knuckle.

Of course, if he was counting the additional $10,000 Vick promised to donate, it's a total of $20,000 which bring it back to $3,333.34 per knuckle.

Either way, can't we all just sing We Are the World

As Bono sang: "Tonight, thank God it's them instead of you."

BTW, I believe that Mr. Strahan was taking a page right out of the politician play book, when you can't defend your actions in any way shape or form, attack the media. Must be the liberal bias we hear so much about.

King, if you and Cary Tennis throw down, who'd win?

Wow, that's real mature. I express an opinion--and I think some readers may agree with me--and you respond by making a threat about boots. Firstly, how did you know about my boot fetish? Are you coming on to me? Are you the guy I never really talk to in the cubicle two over from mine? Wow, the whole time we have worked in the same office I never suspected that we were soulmates. Your place or mine, Mr. Clifton?

You'll never get past security at my place. I'll come over to your trailer park.

This is the first time I recall my Lions being What Heck Picked, which leads me to believe the picks aren't quite as 'the heck' as King leads us to believe.

Let's all compete to see who can make the prettiest Fire Millen sign with the best color scheme. Although, really, Millen is a symptom, like a mustachioed pustule. Fire Ford is what really really needs to be done.

Are you saying you are in prison? What are visiting hours?

Good one with the trailer bit. Nice use of the old joke about trailer parks. God, you are turning me on. We are indeed soulmates.

That will be enough young man. It takes you too long to come back, and besides, you're a bore/boor/boar.

It's as if the NFL game I was at last night never existed. It's not in your picks list, and not a mention about the fantastic defensive effort the Bengals gave to nearly shutout the Ravens. This game kept the Ravens from clinching the playoff berth and kept the Bengals Wild-Card hopes very much alive. Not like anything important happened, like say... another locker room soap opera.