George Lakoff and Mark Johnson have noted in their book, "Philosophy in the Flesh: The Embodied Mind and its Challenge to Western Thought," that we often conceive of ourselves in some sort of metaphorical multiplicity. How else could we be beside ourselves in anger? Ever feel so scattered that you have to pull yourself together? What about those times when we're at odds with ourselves?

While we may conceive of ourselves in multiplicity, we usually see only one of these "selves" as being "essential" to who we are. Sometimes that self is unknown, usually to some college kid who's traipsing off to India to find herself. Sometimes that self is conceived of being on the "inside", as with people who are afraid to reveal their true selves, whose sophistication is a facade, or who are truly mean on the inside. Sometimes the real self is on the outside most of the time, and only under stress or unusual conditions does some asshole charlatan comes out. You know, like Michael - Richards or Vick, take your pick.

Sometimes the self goes missing, more benignly when you lose yourself in a good book, not so benignly when you've sold your soul for a pocket full of pennies. Maybe these Michaels just need to get lost.

Michael Irvin also apologized, for saying that Tony Romo must have a black ancestor somewhere, to be as good as he is.

As a life-long Michael, I'd like to apologize for having the same first name as these other Michaels.

As far as putting in rookie quarterbacks with bad teams, I'd say it's not always a good idea. If the reason you're a bad team is that your offensive line is terrible, it's not such a good idea. Look at Joey Harrington in Detroit.

Can a group collectively apologize for doing something while not being itself?

If so, as a Browns fan, I'm waiting on several years' worth of sorrys.

If not, I'm still waiting.

What those who remove themselves from their actions have done is internalize the rhetoric of those who apoplogize for them. That is, those in the public eye who do wrong usually have someone else who will say "That's not the guy/gal/person/upstanding citizen/public servant/competitor I know. That DUI/domestic asault/meltdown/middle finger/nut punch (that's you, Chris Paul) just isn't in character for such a true class act." Except, of course that it is in character because the offender did or said the objectionable things in question. Michael Vick is now a guy who flipped off his fans, Reggie White was a guy who didn't like homosexuals, and Chris Paul is a guy who would punch another guy in the nuts during a basketball game. Part of the job of the sportscaster is to morally censure the villains (even when they've done nothing villainous--see Joe Buck's hysterical response to Randy Moss's mimed mooning of the venerable Packer faithful) and to protect the character of the good guys even when they do bad things. The whole enterprise is invested in staying on script, which often requires divorcing identity from action, which is why David Eckstein must be made to be really good at baseball even though he isn't and why the aloof and gifted (and very, very good at baseball) Alex Rodriguez is vilified not just for his play but for his character, transforming his athletic failures into moral failures. Of course, Manny Ramirez has the best deal. He doesn't have to say "That guy who wears sunglasses with earphones/takes a leak behind the Green Monster during an inning/talks about playing for the Yankees isn't me" or even the opposite excuse of "That's just my way. That's who I am." People do it for him, in the form of a catchphrase, no less: "That's just Manny being Manny." At least that's more honest than "That's just Manny not being Manny."

Well, I don't know much about Richards or Vick. Maybe they really are racists or serial bird flippers or whatever they. But, King, I wonder if you're just being catty on this one.

When I hear, "That's not me," as part of an apology, my impression is that what the person is saying is, "That's not NORMALLY me."

For example, I'm not normally a person to flip off my mother. But I have. Twice, in fact. Once when I was 16 and once when I was 30. Both were circumstances in which I felt a great deal of stress and I snapped under the pressure. Maybe the stress was my fault. I'm not trying to make an excuse for my behavior, or for Vick's or Richard's behavior. I'm just saying that sometimes people behave in ways that isn't normal for them.

I'm not one to flip off my mother. I don't approve of such behavior, in myself or others. But, we're not always at our best. And sometimes we're at our very worst and we have to apologize for it.

Maybe I'm cutting these guys slack they don't deserve. I just don't think "This isn't me," is some subtle dodge of responsibility, cleverly worded sophistry. I think it's more likely just the way people talk. Like when you say, "I could care less," when what you mean is "I couldn't care less." I get what you mean. And I think I get what these two are trying to say. Maybe I'm wrong, but, King, while I'm a big fan of yours and rarely disagree with your insights, I think you're reaching on this one.

Most American sportsfans are absolute imbeciles. Homers that are insufferable blowhards when the team is winning, and transformed into frustrated, bitching, hotheads who will turn on the team in defeat.

The fans know very little or nothing about the game itself. Almost the totality of their knowledge is their team scores-good, other team scores-bad. Play works-good play call, play does not work-bad play call. And to compound the issue many are saturated in beer on game day. Most fans are over-weight and uncoordinated now and never were athletes before either. Maybe little league baseball or something. This frustration, of sports being the primary focus of their lives, yet without the talent or drive to compete themselves, leads to them becoming self-appointed know-it-alls, wannabe players and wannabe coaches, in order to compensate and cope with their nerdiness.

Vick has nothing to apologize for. In fact I got a real rush out of Artest and the Pacers when they waded up in to the stands and jacked some loud-mouth-know-nothing jaws.

Believe me, many other athletes around the country from all sports got a secret rush out of that too.