Can you be anymore obvious in your anti-Raven bias?

The Ravens absolutely destroyed the Bucs last week and you make no mention of it. Atlanta beating Carolina is mentioned. St. Louis beating Denver is mentioned. But no word on the most crushing upset of the week.

To add insult to injury, you pick Oakland over Baltimore as your What the Heck pick of the week!

Come on Mr. King. Show a little objectivity in your writing.

So I'm guessing you're picking the Steelers and the Chargers to win? Somebody took the caps lock off your last couple of matchups.

I, uh, think King handled it plenty well by implying that the Raiders are the what-the-heckiest choice in recent memory and are a Pop Warner team by comparison. Or maybe it's that the whooping the Ravens laid out was powerful enough to transcend mere textual representation. Many possible avenues to avoid stating the obvious.

Researchers at Central Missouri State University announced this week that they'd discovered the largest known prime number, which is expressed as 2 to the 32,582,657th power minus one. But they had to retract their findings. It turns out you get the same number by multiplying the ages of Mark Brunell and Drew Bledsoe.

Unless either Brunell or Bledsoe is one year old, the product of their ages cannot equal a prime number. Now if you had said that it was the sum of their ages, then you get both mathematical accuracy and comedy gold!

to throw away a pick like that on Raiders-Ravens.

I'm going with the latter interpretation.

Consider yourself demoted to Knave. And that's charitable--at least you get to keep the initial. Keep dissing Poe's Crows & you're odds-on to be answering to Pawn by week 5.

Which is a compliment, by the way.

But is it really appropriate to use the words "undefeated" and "winless" when there has been only one game played?

Truth is, no one never knows anything about the NFL any year. This year is no different. That's why it's impressive for bettors here in Las Vegas going about 60% for the year, which is as good as it gets. And think about it: If you bet money, and you go 60%, that means that you have actually come out ahead and made money betting on football, assuming that you bet the same amount on all games. Not many people can say that.

Those coins are starting to look pretty good.

Ease up champ. There's 32 teams and King didn't say much about a lot of them. In case you haven't been paying attention, Baltimore has sucked for the last couple of years. They've only won one game. If they are as good as they looked in week one they'll get plenty of ink by the time it's over. It's a little early to be accusing someone of anti-raven bias. Not to mention the fact that if King had an anti-raven bias he'd just flat out tell you. Damn.

The point about the prime number joke was that the researchers had to retract their findings. Which presumably means the number wasn't a prime number and therefore it can equal the product of 2 ages. But thanks for playing.

I can't believe you Ravens fans are showing such huge Anti-King bais! If you'd been paying any attention at all, you'd know that the "What-the-Heck TM Pick" is chosed by looking for the biggest blowout of the week and then picking the team on the losing side. It is done because surprises happen all the time in the NFL and because it is funny. Show the man some respect by reading more than just your team's pick.

Or they'd know that the What The Heck pick of the week is where King picks the most obvious loser to win, and wouldn't have given that nimrod who also doesn't read the column an editor star.

Forget about his anti-Ravens bias, what about his anti-Vikings bias? The entire pick is about the 0-1 Panthers, and he only mentions two of the 1-0 Vikings players as targets for the Panthers' defense.

I hope the Panthers take the Vikings as much for granted as Mr. Kaufman does. I think he--like most sports analysts--is thinking too much about last season's embarrassments and not looking at how well this team is performing this year.

Serves me right for reading every other sentence - I am such a chucklehead ...

Editors apparantly do not read the column ... Or they'd know that the What The Heck pick of the week is where King picks the most obvious loser to win, and wouldn't have given that nimrod who also doesn't read the column an editor star.

I hand out the red stars.

Mike Shanahan, the Broncos organization, and the entire state of Colorado are still clinging to their Godhead and official car salesman, AutoNation Elway. Shanahan tries to make all his QBs fit into the magic slippers, from Gus Ferotte to Brian Griese straight through Jake the Snake. But they’re all more frog than prince, and the old glory just won’t come back, durnit. [Disclaimer: Despite the moniker, my favorite team is whoever the Broncos play that week. Go, um, Chiefs!]

Plummer was always suspect in Denver for poor decision-making, mental meltdowns, and a tendency to throw the ball up for grabs when the chips were down. Last season he seemed to have outgrown all that. Maybe, Donkey fans dreamed, he was the new Prophet after all. Praised be the Orange! Long live Elway!

Then Jake reverted to his old ways in the the playoff loss, and in the first half of the Rams game he looked like he was possessed by Kurt Warner. To the horror of fans, the old Jake appears to be back: He is a False Prince – no Elway at all, curse the Fates!

(By the by, Jake’s road rage incident shortly after the playoff meltdown didn’t much help his cause. For Griese, slipping and falling in his driveway was enough to turn the tide. Rear end someone, then get in their face, well...)

So the torment of Bronco fans goes on. Taunted nightly by the Old Order in an endless stream of car commercials, with no heir apparent, a Time of Troubles shakes the foundation of the Regime. O, Elway, thy very name giveth Life, why must you mock us so! When will a successor Incarnate emerge and lead us from the wilderness!

Jay Cutler... Could he be... Oh, if only... Lo, hail the Holy men to annoint Him, for a Child is Born unto the Front Range. Let Him be Good...

Expect the vilification of Cutler to begin as soon as he takes a snap.