You and my aunt and my grandma need to lay off Ross Porter. Yes, I remember the growing up and being amazed by the stats he reported as illuminating. But, I was in elementary school and I would not have learned math as quickly if it not for wanting to keep up with him by compiling my own crazy stats.

So thank you Ross Porter, I can now make 2/3 of any recipe.

One of the Baseballprospectus writers (can't remember who) had a great idea a while back. During the Little League World Series ESPN would show stats like, "favorite movie," "favorite athlete," "favorite flavor of ice cream," etc. Why not do that for big league games, too? If broadcasters insist on flooding us with useless information, it may as well be FUN useless information. Think about it. Imagine that you're watching a ballgame and you find out that Manny Ramirez's favorite movie is Rashamon, Derek Jeter's favorite childhood book was Superfudge, and Andruw Jones can't get enough of Rocky Road.

Tell me that wouldn't be entertaining.

Let's see ... Thome leads the majors with 15 home runs in the same column that Pujols becomes the fastest player to reach 19 home runs? Through some advance calculations, I believe I've discovered a discrepancy of .... *checks notes* ... four home runs. And two columns in a row that Kaufman invents strange statistics, then admits he made them up, then says that they were probably used at some point anyway. I apologize for being the one to point this out, but I feel as if Kaufman's writing has become a bit lazy of late.

"Jim Thome, who leads the majors in home runs with 15, hasn't gone six games without a homer yet, but he has gone five in a row. Johnny Gomes, who's second, has an eight-game homerless streak already."

Are you talking about the AL? Because you already established earlier in the article that Pujols leads the league with 19 (also, both Thome and Carlos Lee are ahead of Gomes. Gomes is tied for fourth).

before one-fourth of the season is up. Every year, someone goes on a spring tear and the TC talk begins again. Last year, it was Derrek Lee. In 2003, it was Pujols. Isn't it enough to be watching the greatest hitter of his generation (sorry, Alex) without endless season-length projections? I remember when Tuffy Rhodes hit three home runs on Opening Day '94. Jeez, 486 homers! It's hard to imagine!

Still, I keep falling for it. Hey, maybe Jeff Francoeur really will hit .400. And Clemens will lower his ERA to 1.05. At least Albert is scarily consistent pre- and post-All Star, so if anyone's worthy of this folderol, he is.

So when Pujols hits his 62nd on September 17 and successfully pees into a little cup without incident, is it time for the SABR cookouts?

For all Bonds' lack of offensive production (and painful rumbles into the left field corner) he was still featured in the second largest photo (behind Pujols) on the cover of the New York Times sports section this sunday. The article's subject? This year's power surge in baseball. The caption attributed it to a number of players, including Mr. Bonds, stuck at 5 dings.

What, is his aura as a home run hitter behind the surge? Why not put Frank Thomas up there as well? Or the ghost of the Babe, for that matter.

How 'bout them Cubs?

OK, check out the Salon ad and tell me you're not!

Buck O'Neill should be in the hall if anyone deserves it.

"One of the Baseballprospectus writers (can't remember who) had a great idea a while back. During the Little League World Series ESPN would show stats like, "favorite movie," "favorite athlete," "favorite flavor of ice cream," etc. Why not do that for big league games, too? If broadcasters insist on flooding us with useless information, it may as well be FUN useless information."

During last year's playoffs, Fox did just that. I think that Chone Figgins' favorite movie is Rocky V. Seriously.

."

Ugh. I meant American League. Fixing now. Thanks.

ba dump bump

It's unfair to totally blame Isiah Thomas for the predicament in which the Knicks find themselves. The previous regime dug the team into a pretty deep hole and Isiah has had to try and climb out. After all, I think they are still paying Shandon Anderson for which Thomas bears no responsibility. And Allan Houston will finally be off the books soon.

That being said, Isiah has proved himself to be not much of a climber. In some respects, he's more of a backhoe. His trading of draft picks has turned out to be disastrous. How he could not have protected his picks in the Eddie Curry trade is beyond many in the basketball world.

But the Knicks do have some decent, young players who may yet make an impact. However, paying Jerome James $36,000 a point is not going to lead to long term prosperity.

And installing himself as coach could be the prelude to many more paper-bag-over-the-head seasons. It looks like a long, dark road ahead if Brown is ousted and Thomas takes over everything.

But I hear Rick Adelman is unemployed. If Brown goes and Thomas has any brains at all, he might try and bring him in. Then again, what am I thinking?

It's Isiah we're talking about.

My favorite sub-story of Pujols' "record-setting" climb to 19 HRs was Pujols' own comments (from the AP story) about his hitting:

"I'm not a home run hitter," Pujols said. "McGwire's a home run hitter, Bonds is a home run hitter. I'm a line drive hitter with power, and that's it. All I try to do is just hit for average, and hopefully if I put a good swing on it the ball's going to go out of the park."

Now, if a guy with 220 home runs at the age of 26 isn't a power hitter, I don't know what is. But do you hear the subtext of his quote coming through loud and clear?

"I DON'T DO STEROIDS!!!"

When did this happen? The Bay Area already misses you, though I can understand the whole wanting to own a home someday thing. St. Louis. Man.