If you're those Carolina Panthers cheerleaders do you really want to release a statement denying that you were having sex in the bathroom? These two girls are currently the most famous lesbian cheerleaders in history. They could probably set themselves up with a nice nest egg before "coming out" in a few years and claiming they were really just applying makeup.

King, thanks for mentioning my Atlanta Hawks for what I can only assume will be the last time this season. The only explanation for the Hawks' #6 attendance rank must be that they're counting tickets sold, not actual attendance. Even the low camera angles that show only the first six rows revealed many empty seats, and this was on opening day. Combine that with a scoreboard meltdown, a preponderance of Laker fans in the seats, and another desultory loss, and the Hawks are off and running once again.

By the way, did you know that of the 29 other teams, the Hawks are the home opener for four of them? We're the Duke football of the NBA...

Has anyone watched ESPN do their fake press conferences for MLB GM's? I watched about 10 seconds of these pieces before realizing the whole thing was idiotic.

My only real point with the comment is that ESPN needs real competition in the sports news area. They have gotten worse and worse every year with their gimmicks and massive corporate sponsorship for their "news" segments. I don't think FSN has enough quality shows to actually give ESPN a run for their money, so how do we the public convince ESPN that they suck when they have the market cornered?

After reading yet another completely implausible excuse for a positive test... and knowing how utterly incompetent one would have to be to get caught under MLB's testing policy when players know far in advance when they will be tested...and knowing that the list of substances they test for is woefully incomplete... and knowing that the creation of masking agents is a multi-million dollar cottage industry... and knowing that a high percentage of AAA players posted positive tests years ago before the MLB 'crisis'... and knowing that virtually every one of the "I never used performance enhancing drugs" crowd has ultimately been busted... Bonds, McGwire, Canseco, don't forget Marion Jones and Romo and Ben Jonson and half the other 100 meter guys... and wondering why Lance Armstrong, who files a couple lawsuits before breakfast every morning has neglected to file suit over the most concrete and damning charges yet... does anyone really doubt after all this that AT LEAST HALF of all current major leaguers haven't been on some kind of banned substance at some time in their career?

Judging by your photo, you look 28. Well done.

Mr. Kaufman,

I've been reading your column for months and enjoy them thoroughly.

I just finished your piece about Palmeiro and one thing struck me that you seemed to ignore: why the heck is Tejada (or any ballplayer, for that matter) injecting anybody with anything?

It seems to me the only people who should be shooting anyone else with needles are a) medical professionals b) diabetes sufferers or c) Robert Downey Jr. (let's face it -- he's had more experience with needles than either a or b)

Regardless of what the needle contained, shouldn't this type of "treatment" be administered by the team's medical staff (with their decades of medical training and experience) rather than players (with their decades of batting practice and wind sprints)?

Shouldn't revelation of this kind of activity be confronted with disciplinary action stronger than "They tested the stuff Miggy had and found out it was B-12 and cleared it and that's the end of the story," (Orioles executive Jim Beattie's quote on the matter).

Or am I just being charmingly naive?

Does anyone else wonder whether or not someone set up Raffy?

Look, he looked the best denying that he ever used at the testimony and immediately after he's caught, congress is ready to invalidate an (entertainment) labor union's contract, giving the owners of the league a lot of leverage into renegotiating the contract? Sorry guys, take what we give you or the Feds will make it even worse.

I mean, if you were picking someone to set up with a positive test to give you what you need, Raffy would have been the guy to pick. I mean, the sports-radio calls write themselves with Raffy a spokesperson for a sexual-performance enhancing drug. It only helped that his season started out super.

If this sort of thing happened to another union, no doubt Salon would be all over it, but because many people have distaste for muscelly sluggers, no one cares about it.

There are some things here that just make no sense. First of all, you don't need an injection to take B-12. This is a vitamin. They sell it at the drugstore. Millions of people take it in the form of a pill. My mother took it every day for years. Why is Tejada taking it through an injection. Is there something I'm not aware of. is this a special form of B-12? Is there an advantage to taking it through an injection?

Second, is Palmeiro saying that someone tampered with his B-12 shot or is he saying that the B-12 morphed into the illegal substance. I guess it's that his injection was tampered with, in which case he was accusing Tejada of doping him, which seems unthinkable without his consent.

And I second the comment about why are players giving each other injections. Just a curiousity, but does anyone else out there do this at their job?

Lastly, this probably doesn't need to be clarified, but the House Committee's decision not to press charges is in no way an exoneration of Palmeiro. It indicates either a lack of proof that he intentionally lied about using steroids or more likely, a lack of a desire on Congress's part to pursue the matter any further.

I second Phill's comments about ESPN. I woke up blearly-eyed one morning to see a Steve Phillips' "press conference" for the Red Sox, and for a few moments, I thought he had been named the new GM. Is it really necessary to waste five minutes of Sportscenter on a hypothetical press conference for a sport not in season?

The trouble with ESPN is that it either purchases (Classic Sports) or destroys (CNN/SI) its competition. For whatever reason, viewers turned against the less sophomoric CNN/SI, and so we are left with only one option. We have no one but ourselves to blame.