Don't misunderestimate the will of the voters, and you can have my Segway out back. Oh, and watch your head when you board the helicopter, and don't drop your new dog on the tarmac or let it bite reporters, even if they deserve it.

Thursday is beans day in the cafeteria. I like beans.

Your pal,

W

Do ya thunk that this note, at least, will be made available via The Presidential Records Act?

Dear Mr. President. Concerning our agreement that if I don't pardon anyone, you won't prosecute me. Please, please, please don't go back on your word! It's the rest of my administration who are guilty! I trusted them, and they let me down! They are the ones who belong in prison! I don't think I could survive in prison! Just the thought of a large brother named TYRONNE sends shivers down my backside.

Signed, 43

This is my advice: Don't take advice from anybody. I sure didn't and I got reelected anyway. Oh, and I wouldn't bother spending any of that political capital on that next $350 billion for the banks -- the fundamentals of the economy really are strong. Call if you need advice on anything else.

W.

Later, Dude.

Shrub

you CAN fool all the peoples all the time and get away with it.

someone sent me this:

"Hey Barack: I should probably tell ya, Barney used to pee over behind that couch a lot. Might be able to smell it on rainy days. Oh, and I already looked for Lincoln's gold, didn't find shit. I did find an old stamp in the bottom drawer and licked it, in case it was some of Carter's acid. I think I saw on Saturday Night Live that he used to do that stuff, right? Anyway, it was too old, didn't fuck me up at all.

"Oh, and don't push the button under the chair. I had Big Red moved down there in case the White House got stormed by Arab commandos and I'd have to get all Han Solo on 'em, blowing up their shit while they thought they had me covered. Can't take any chances, man.

"Okay, I'm outta here. Semper Fi. Wait, you weren't a grunt, that was that other black fella, whatsisname...Simon Cowell or something. Whatever. Anyway, the place is yours now. If you're ever in Dallas, look me up, we'll throw some brisket on the grill and do some a that Wii bowling. You ever done that? Hell, found a whole room for 'em to put that in, right off the Oval Office. That's the one Harding used for...well, anyhow, I gotta go. Have a good one. Fuckin' A, man."

W

Hey there Obama...err...is it Osama? Heck with the both of ya being Muslims and so tall I can't really tell which one of ya is which being as my head is already where the sun never shines anyway.

Well whichever one ya are, don't get to used to hangin round for too long. Saw my daddy just last week sayin my brother, Jeb, ought to give this job a try. Yeah, that's right. Keep that seat warm for little brother Jeb in 4 years becuz we're gonna smoke ya out!

Dubya43

P.S. Dubya43-I like that. I'm gonna have Laura try to get that on my license plates so everybody gets out of my way when they see me a comin!

No I couldn't.

in sincereness,

w.

Dear Mr. President:

I'm glad to have helped you with the transition. In return could you possibly make it public that you called me for direction on some issue. Y'see I had problems with the whole legacy thing and thought just maybe I could redeem myself with your help. Hey, Truman looked good a generation later!

I scratched your back and now you can scratch mine. Deal?

Your truly

G.W.B.

Dear Barack,

The turkey has left the building.

Chimp

Dick Cheney took it along with all his other papers when he left...

Good luck, Tiger Woods guy.

...black person left stranded to deal with the consekwences of my incompitints...Hey, just like Her-i-cain Katreena! Heh heh heh...

The secrit [sic] pardons of everyone in my administration, including me, are in the bottom drawer. Don’t release them unless you have to.

W.

George's note to Barrack:

When I came into the Oval Office on my first day, Bill was just leavin' and there were 3 envelopes on my desk, labelled 1, 2 and 3.

"What are these for?" I asked.

"If you ever find your problems getting out of hand, just open one of the envelopes," he said as he left.

So right off the bat, we have a recession. Then the 9-11 and anthrax attacks. I wasn't sure what to do, so I opened the first envelope.

"Blame your predecessor," it said. So that's waht I did. My ratings soared. All my legislative initiatives started going through. "This is great!" I thought to myself.

Then we invaded Eye-RACK and everything started back downhill. The war got ugly. Soldiers got killed. The deficit spiraled out of sight. I almost lost reelection to that French-lookin' John Kerry, for Christ's sake!

"The envelopes!" I thought. So I opened the second one.

"Reorganize," it read.

So we created the Department of Homeland Scrutiny. Moved everything remotely related into it. Moved some generals around. Created a War Czar position (Whatever happened to that guy, anyway?) Started somethin' called the Sunni Awakenin', whatever that was.

But it was too late. Nobody liked me anymore. We lost the mid-terms. My ratings fell below Nixon's. Then I remembered the third envelope! So I opened it.

It read, "Prepare three envelopes."

Okay, old joke. But it fits, don't it?

I regret nothing!

The horror! The horror!

The joke's on you!

Sorry, my fellow American, that's the way it really is. Brother Barack better have the balls of Jesus because they will use anyone and anything to get your "cooperation", even your children. Follow the money, indeed.

If you stop my decider plans, I will say "They would have worked if that one didn't mess 'em up." he he he