I wrote and circulated this yarn back in 2002 around the "pretzel incident". Seems so fitting to circulate it once again now that they are FINALLY leaving!!!! Hurrah! It's called "Pretzel Logic"! Enjoy!

I want to know who is swinging punches at Bushie,Jr!?! Was it Laura? Is there domestic abuse going on? She seems to be in a constant Stepford Wife's stupor - Maybe she's been into Jenna's WWJD (What would Jenna Drink) recipe cards, mixing up some vicidon cocktails! Maybe Pushie and wife are lushes together and as we all know things can get a little scrappy when you are White House Cracker Trash! Anybody seen Laura today!?! Or does Dub have to go to Fight Club - Some weird Skull and Bones Ritual club??? We KNOW he is a member of that one, Yalee honored son that he is. Or is he still drinking and doing drugs and passing out and having clumsy, stupefied mishaps? I had a really rich cocaine abuser date fall in his food dish once in Grosse Pointe!! For God's sake, it's possible!! This is Pretzel Logic if not totally illogical. And I saw him on the telly at some damn fund raiser and he is spinning and spinning the stupid, lummox pretzel yarn!!! Yawn. In my wildest, most wishful imagination, I picture him in an argument with Papa Pushie. Where he says "Pop, I just want to come clean as I can get right now that the sh**t's so deep! I didn't want to be the Prez and you punched me out the night of the fixed election. Then I had to tell the Americans that I POPPED A BIG PIMPLE - MORE A LIKE GIANT FESTERING BOIL ON MY FACE! Now, around the EffluenceRon scandal, I don't want to be the Prez any more, and you won't let me spill the beans and get the hell out and just go back to my ranch in Texas. Hell, I'm in it too deep! No, no, Pappa, not again!@$#%&^*!@#! Shee-it! Now Karl and Karen are going have to spin this black eye and bruise!! I know. I'll tell them I mis-swallowed a pretzel and then FELL FLAT ON MY FACE!!!" God, DON'T WE EVER WISH HE WOULD!!

P.S. Ever since this incident, I have given bush the nickname, “the pRetz.”..that's all I ever called him. Thank God he's now Past-Tense.

A FAIRLY SIMPLE LETTER TO BE DELIVERED BY THAT FAT F-U-C-K rove IS MINE,

"GOD'S VENGEANCE UPON you, CHIMPya, cheney, letter-messenger rove & ALL NAZI-FASCIST-allies of thine!!!!!"

"MAY YE VILLAINS ALL BE AFFLICTED BY HORRIBLE PLAGUES AND DISASTER,"

"AND SUFFER EXCRUCIATING PAIN AND SUFFERING FROM GOD'S BLASTER!"

"AS YE CRIMINALLY SOWED, SO SHALL YE ALL REAP GOD'S KARMIC RETRIBUTION SO FINE!!!!!"

HAH!!!!! V(^0^)V

VENGEANCE UPON CHIMPya bush, DICK-less cheney, FAT F-U-C-K rove, the bush crime family & ALL bushland uber allies!!!!!

I want to thank you for the opportunity to say farewell to W.

Here is my letter in its entirety:

Dear President Bush,

I cannot begin to express how delighted I am to say farewell to you after your eight years in office.

Yours sincerely,

James Boster

Tell George to stay clear of the chain saw, if he is no better with it as he was running the country he will hurt himself. He might not have someone to render medical aid close at hand

"Welcome to Splitsville, population You.

"Signed, Homer"

I am mentally and emotionally exhausted after eight years of watching you destroy my country. The lies, hypocrisy,irresponsibility,recklessness and your self-absorption has been just too much to endure. Your "legacy tour" certainly cemented in my mind what you will be remembered for. You disgraced the office of the President and shamed our country. You are a little, little man who will never allow yourself to see how much you are despised by the American people.

I already sent him my daughter's muddy boots. They were supposed to represent the children of Iraq who have been slaughtered as pawns to his macho vanity and, what the heck, there were two, maybe one could represent the children of American soldiers, also slaughtered by Bush.

Think he got it? (them?)

Nah, me neither.

Bush never read any of my other letters to him, why would he be interested in this one?

In every murderous rampage, there comes a time when the killer realizes that the jig is up. Usually it's when the authorities have him surrounded and there is no escape. While holed up and waiting for the end, he has time to reflect on the enormity of the consequences of his actions. This combined with his innate sense of self pity often lead him to take the only honorable way out and, with his last bullet, he turns the gun on himself.

Just sayin'.

Karl Rove would NOT give my farewell message to his deluded W. Also...not sure I could even find the words.

don't assume that Mr Rove will NOT turn over all abusive or threatening messages to the FBI for prosecution. It's just the kind of guy he is.

Michael Connell

Of COURSE Karl Rove wants us to e-mail farewell messages to the President! What better way to build the RNC's list of e-mail addresses. Here's your message Karl/Dick/George: please just go the hell away.

There's a reporter in Iraq who has already delivered my message.

Chances are he's data mining for his new company. Send Bush an email and you'll probably have your email sold off to a bunch of marketers.

and suffer the consequences. like they can be trusted.

I don't just blame Bush.

I blame Bush voters and Bush.

The latest estimate is that Bush borrowed $11.5 trillion dollars, which will be paid by you and me and our children and our grandchildren. Republicans allege that they're all about personal responsibility. Why aren't they then personally responsible for the trillions of borrowed dollars?

Can I send a picture of angry liberals with their arms folded, huffing and puffing to blow your house down?