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Tuesday, June 24, 2008 12:00 AM

The truth about drilling and gas prices

Republicans are slamming Democrats for their opposition to offshore oil drilling, but new drilling wouldn't bring relief at the pump any time soon.
Alex Koppelman

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  • Tuesday, June 24, 2008 09:25 PM

    Then we should stop drilling everywhere instantly now

    Since the only reason that gasoline has a nonzero price at all is because of 19 fat white Republicans, while all oil untapped so far will take Eleventy Trillion million billion zillion dollars to develop and won't come online until 16 months after the sun implodes into a neutron star.

    My idea would just be to burn hippies for fuel.

    —James T. Kirk Read James T. Kirk's other letters

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