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For a 40 year old version of the national anthem that is everything about language and nothing about language, I have two words for you: Jimi Hendrix.
If we played Mr. Hendrix's version for several days in a row, these anal retentive types would probably tighten up so much that all the other parts of the body would start floating and would demonstrate why the asshole is always in charge. And then maybe they'd have an apoplectic fit and then we'd have a chance to get someone with two brains to rub together in office.