Oh, that's right. We don't want to talk about any of the important stuff like war or poverty or torture. Smokescreen time!

People are freaking sheep. Why do we even care about this when there are so many more important things to care about.

Newsflash: some recipients of Christmas cards celebrate other holidays. Perhaps "Happy Holidays" is simply more polite than wishing a non-Christian "Merry Christmas" or more efficient than figuring out what holiday everyone on the White House Christmas card list celebrates and making sure they get the right one.

I write dictionaries for a living (www.yale.edu/swahili), so the meaning of the word "holiday" always jumps out at me. Holiday comes from "holy day," plain and simple, so if you are a real Christian, "Happy Holidays" is a short way of saying "I wish you happiness on each of the 12 holy days of Christmas, and a joyous New Year as well."

It is also, of course, a polite way of including your non-Christian friends in your best wishes, which is surely in keeping with Christ's example of love toward all.

If you want to get uber-geeky, go to Answers.com and look up "holiday" (http://www.answers.com/holiday) - they show this derivation (which may have some of the characters messed up via the comment submission form): [Middle English holidai, holy day, from Old English hālig d�g : hālig, holy; see holy + d�g, day; see day.]

In closing, can I propose this revised Fox News Christmas Carol?:

Silent night, Christy night, all is calm, all is bright...

Boy, does this make me long for the days when the biggest controversy over Christmas was over how materialistic it had become and whether this ruined the holiday's sacredness.

We care about a silly little issue like this because it's gay marriage all over again--an issue that strikes thoughtful people as silly while energizing a multitude of rage junkies all over the United States.

We care because Jerry Falwell et al. know exactly what they're doing when they sneak in a wedge issue like this.

it's not old to us Pharisees!

The Christian Right are the worst elements of our culture...

These guys need to get a grip and realize that the Bush administration hasn't really cared about them since November 3rd of 2004.

this quote:

First lady Laura Bush wraps things up by saying: "President Bush and I wish everyone a happy holiday."

from this story at the washingtonpost.com:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/linkset/2005/04/11/LI2005041100879.html

I just drove by a Knights of Columbus meeting hall in North Little Rock, Arkansas and their road-side marquee says "Merry Christmas" on one side and "Seasons Greetings" and "Happy Holidays" on the other side. This Catholic Church-based group seems to want to have it both ways.

Hope you all caught Jon Stewart tonight on Comedy Central (note the emphasis on COMEDY!) Great send-off to O'Reilly's attack on Jon and the whole Christmas non-issue. Loved the part where the year old clip was juxtaposed with the pregnant woman who appeared in last year's show in a non-pregnant state. Really exposed the duplicitous nature of the O'Reilly attacks for what they are. A real LOL moment! Catch it if you didn't see it already! And oh BTW, Happy Holidays everyone!

O'Reilly pointed to Western Europe as an example of what happens when you get to secular but...

Has he ever spent Christmas in Europe? Man, it is Christmas EVERYWHERE. Sure beats Christmas here... they set up little villages of little chalets to sell cookies and candies and candles and other Christmas things, and hot chestnuts and mulled wine and pine garlands with red bows all over the place.

He's on crack.

Dear Citizens of the World:

It's been a bad year, what with terrorism, a war, high fuel costs, lousy weather, and countless natural catastrophes. It would be great if we could all end it on a high note. But it seems that's not possible. Not if Christmas is close to your heart.

There's been a terrible chain of events that affects us all, especially those with big wish lists. If you haven't already heard, Santa Claus is in dire straights. To be fair, you can't say we didn't see it coming, you know, a lonely guy who lives with elves in the middle of nowhere. Yep, destiny, finally, has caught up to jolly St. Nick.

It all started with the Homeland Security laws and the Presidentially approved wiretapping. Since June 4, 2005, when U.S. intelligence agents began monitoring Mr. Claus, the world's most infamous gifter was contacted by 568,201 individuals on the list of Suspects Without Proof list, violating law # 37,091,435, paragraph 5, section 3, by-law #36 of the Homeland Security Act. This included postcards, cell phone calls, written letters, and forms filled out in malls all over the globe. That wasn't bad enough. A C.I.A. report also claims Mr. Claus was manufacturing aluminum tubes for a nuclear operation in Iran. Responding to the allegations, Santa said they were for a young Iranian boy who wanted to build a grain elevator for the family farm.

That charge allowed the issuance of a Search and Seizure warrant for the North Pole headquarters. On December 11, 2005, a swat team converged on the property and ransacked the entire operation. Needless to say, there were chemistry sets that could be used to make bombs, packages of fertilizer that were requested by farmers, rifles intended for hunters, books critical of the Administration that were seen as treasonous and many other items, including sharp kitchen utensils, that were confiscated by the zealous team of investigators.

Advocates from around the world, hoping to keep the Christmas spirit alive, appealed to the Supreme Court on December 15, 2005. Chief Justice Roberts responded: "Mr. Claus, a bearded, unkempt man in a red suit - a color reminiscent of Communism - is not excluded from the Homeland Security Act simply because he hands out gifts indiscriminately to both the rich and the poor, liberal and conservative. If the Court allows this man to violate the laws of this great nation then we've allowed an onerous precedent for others who won't be so giving. Consequently, a Cease and Desist Order has been issued to halt this man from continuing his affairs. The Court recommends to those dependent upon this rotund fellow's unwarranted benevolence to secure for themselves, through their own efforts - the way I did when I put myself through Harvard by serving lattes in Starbucks - the sundry gifts that they so recklessly requested from the North Pole."

This opened the door for more legal entanglements. The I.N.S. paid a visit to the site and discovered that more than half of the elves were illegal immigrants from Mexico working off the books. Officials from the organization cited Mrs. Claus with fraudulent book keeping and threatened her with an indictment of having carnal relations with a minor if she protested the charge (three of the elves were under 18). The team also found "gray" items, i.e. fake or secondary market products, ranging from athletic shoes to XBox knockoffs. That is being investigated further.

Once the doors were opened Santa's enterprise was an open book. Fundamentalists accused him of gifting individuals who refused to use the word Christmas in their holiday cards. And then the scope of the gifts was attacked by groups from around the world. Pat Robertson claimed, "This Godless figure who kids are suppose to look up to has actually been distributing violent video games, DVD porn to atheists, Robertson's a Wacko t-shirts to left wing nuts, Victoria's Secret undergarments to people having premarital sex, condoms to boys in high school. The list goes on and on. And I say, let's hang this man before he does any more harm to our God-fearing country."

Once the hero became the heel, people came out of the woodwork to pile on. Environmentalists insisted that Christmas shopping, as well as all the waste produced by ribbons and wrappings, accelerated global warming by 1.3%. They also reported that the North Pole operations were in part responsible for the melting of the polar ice caps. Animal rights advocates petitioned to have the reindeers set free in the wild, claiming that they were needlessly abused for the sake of unfettered materialism. They also criticized the fur collar and trim on Santa's outfit, which he has always said was synthethic. Madeline Hubright, President of Furless Living, said, "It doesn't matter whether or not the fur is synthethic, it sets the wrong tone because some people will think it's real. Our objective is no fur of any kind; only Gortex and wool. We don't mind a few sheep catching cold once in a while, but we condemn the stealing of animal fur."

American toy makers then accused Mr. Claus of contracting with huge Chinese firms willing to undercut prices. Stanley Geplitz, Grand Steward of Toy Makers USA, reported, "There's been a disturbing movement afoot these past few years given the fact that far too many American kids have been receiving Chinese toys when, in fact, American toy manufacturers are fully capable of providing wonderful gifts too. Santa looked the other way for too long and now, well, he's going to pay."

So far Abdul Hossein Mohammed, a former Saddam Hussien attorney who recently abandoned the case, has offered to represent Mr. Claus.

And so it is, the end of a miserable year made even more miserable. Yes Virginia there's a Santa Claus, but he's too tied up in the courts to bring you that new Barbie you crave.