The Virginia Statehouse is filled to the brim with a sudsy brewing froth of maniacally-handicapped Right-to-the-Right Wing Warriors. A blathering hum falls over the audience as a gavel POUNDS the stage podium. The evening's CMN Host, Wuffy Blitzkrieg, lays the gavel aside and approaches the corrospondant's table with his microphone.

WUFFY: "Yesss, yesss ---- hmmm, Good Evening Gentle Ladies & Men, we are gathered once again for the Twenty-O-Eight, 'Winner-Takes-The-Cake' campaign for the White House. We continue our 'Meet the Candidate's Family' Forum in order to give the voters a chance to better gauge just who they wish to have as their future 'Head-Banana-in-Chief."

AUDIENCE: "YEEEEAAAA !! -- YEE-HA --- YIP-YIP-YIPPIEEEEEE !! "

WUFFY: "Yes, Hrrrummmmmph, thank-you, indeed. -- Again, we welcome back our eminent panel of journalists --- Miz Banana Dash, Miz Suzie Malevuleaxxnt, John-Boy Queen and your eminent-wannabe host --- myself --- Wuff Blitzkrieg."

AUDIENCE: "YOW-ZA -- YOW-ZA -- YOW-ZA, --- BAAY-BEEEE !! "

WUFFY: "In our 'Meet-the-Family' forums we've been looking over the histronics wrapped about this year's election, and note, just in passing, that each of our 3 senators has something unique to their candidacies; Barry Oblama offers himself up as the First "Afrikanamerikan" president while Frau Klinton wishes to be the nation's First "Blonde" president.

AUDIENCE: "HUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZAAAAAAAHHHH" (foot-stomping fills the Hall) -- "BAAAAR-RIE - BAAAAR-RIE - BAAAAR-RIE - BAAAAR-RIE"

WUFFY: "All right, all ready -- But our Guest Family for this evening's event is a family whose present representative will be the nation's First 'ex-Jail-Bird,' --- Senator John A. McKlean."

AUDIENCE: "BOOOOOOOO !!! --- HISSSSSS !!! --- HANG THE BLOODY LOT OF 'EM !! "

WUFFY: (looks to the table where 8 members of the Family are seated as an elderly grey woman approaches) -- "And introducing the senator's family, we welcome Miz Roberta Wright McKlean, who, this day, celebrates her 96th birthday." -- (with a smiling tune) -- "And a Very, Merry Un-Birthday, to you -- to you"

[Blitzkrieg wiggles & giggles to himself, then turns to John-Boy Queen who is sporting a rather loud & colorful, pie-pan-sized 'McKLEAN' campaign button]

JOHN-BOY: (rapidly blinking) -- "Mizz McKlean -- YOUR Family is, in fact, recognized as one of America's Original Founding Families --- One, I must confide with utmost sobriety, has been Notorious for its long line of Hard-Drinking, Super-Bad Tempers and Feisty Southren' Warmongerings --- having represented our electorate in every Bloody Frontline Fight since the Colonial Indian Wars" -- (sits back, much impressed with his 'gotcha' shelling) -- "Isn't this so, Madam ?"

MIZ McKLEAN: (Beady-eyes dilate to a pin-point, a long forked-tongue slithering across her lips) --- "Yeaah ? -- Well -- Up Yours !! -- (blossoming an angelic smile) -- "You Darlin Little, Twit."

[As John-Boy removes his 'McKLEAN in 08' button, the Mem'Sabe snap-turns a dagger-darting scowl upon the entire audience "GASPS !!" -- The Birthday girl then launches a 'Sweetie-Granny-Smile' upon the 8 Clan Members assembled at the table]

MIZ McKLEAN: (with starry-eyed aprobation) -- "Ev-ary Hoodlum that eva walked this planet goin back to Alley-Oop and his Neanderthal scum know'd the Warriors of our Clan --- The Kaiser, George III, Hirohito, Ho-Chi-Minhy-Weenie, -- even dat Gangly Yankee Bully, Abe Stinkin-Linkin."

[The CMN Octaroon, Miz Suzie Malevuleaxxnt,takes the mike]

MIZ SUZIE: "Miz McKlean, Mister Lincoln WAS the founder of your son's Republican Party."

MIZ McKLEAN: (submerging her guarded Dixie accent) "JOHNNY-BOY AIN'T NO DAMN REPUBLICAN, FOOL !! -- CAIN'T 'CHEW PEOPLE EVA FIGGER DAT OUT ??"

WUFFY: (winks at Suzie) "Please Ladies, --- Miz McKlean, kindly continue with the introductions of your --- Clan."

MIZ McKLEAN: (gruffly) -- "Weeelll -- y'all know by now my boy, Johnny over there --- hasn't been right in the head since them damn Commies hung him by his feet fer 7 yeers -- been in a bad mood ever since -- regardless of that precious smile of he'd been born with." --

[She blows a kiss to the Candidate, which is heartily returned] --

MIZ McKLEAN: "Then, seated from his right are my hubby, Admiral John S. McKlean Jr. a fighter of Koo-reeeans, Japs, V.C. and all dem other gooks." (flutters lashes)-- "And next to him is his own Daddie, the other Admiral, John S. McKlean The First, who went & fit the Kaiser's Heinies and Tojo's Nips to boot. That fella there with the big boots & horse-whip is our Dear Cousin, Georgie S. Patton, Notzie Whupper, Extraordinaire."

"Next is 'Colonel-Billy' McKlean, our homebread Dixie-Rebel of the Klan, errr Clan,-- Dat tall fella, with the ungodly wide darai'yeahr -- well, he's 'The General's General', Georgie Washington, our family's first occupier of the presidency, and proud-to-say, another volcano-tempered Clansman of our Line."

"And last of all --- the American Immigrant Ancestor of mah boy Johnny & each & all a'us, - Colonel John Washington who seeded our Clan on these here shores of Virginny 352 years ago, this summer."

"Im'a sorry ta tells ya that my grandson, John S. McKlean IV, couldn't be with us on account of him being over yonder somewhere fightin them damn Aa-Rabbbbbs. - Nor could Johnny-Boy's Cousin & fellow Warhawk in the Senate, Virginnyian, John WAR'ner -- whose busy somewhere with another Family Clan Meeting this evening. -- Now, Mista Blitzkrieg, I gots'ta go weedle -- if y'all will excuse the Birthday Girl?"

WUFFY: "Of course, Madam --- Ladies and Gentlemen, we'll continue this forum after a 15 minute break."

[the entire audience of 12,647 Republicans rise en masse & rush the auditorium doors for the 'rest' rooms]

[continued . . . . . ]

I predict that there will be no majority to take the nomination for either Hillary or Barack, so come convention time the powers that be in the Democratic Party (the super delegates) will decide that HRC gets the presidential nomination and they require her to run with Barack as VP. If she says no dice, they tell her that Barack gets the nod and he can choose whomever he wants as VP.

HRC will go along and run with Barack as her VP.

Dear Ms. Walsh,

This is a pretty easy question to answer: Obama. Simply because he doesn't have Hillary's baggage. She's damaged goods (most unfairly harassed and ridiculed since 1992, I must add). I think many Democrats, many Obama supporters, think very highly of Mrs. Clinton, but would prefer to avoid the re-run of the 1990's. And besides, the rabid-drooling Right hate her and could capitalize on that irrational hatred. McCanine would harness the same sleaze-bags and energize the Hate-Hillary crowd, the same goons who spread rumors of him fathering a "black" child out of wedlock in South Carolina in 2000.

There is a VERY good reason W gave Clinton a morsel by saying that he didn't think that Bill is a racist and that he didn't know what Obama stood for. The Republicans are MORTIFIED of the Democrats choosing Obama, knowing that it would be an uphill battle. His one big advantage is that he NEVER flip-flopped on the Iraq War, and he should capitalize on that. If the Dems choose Mrs. Clinton (flip-flopper), we will see a re-run of 2004, close, but she'll lose. Again, I hope I would be wrong.

If the Dems want to capture the White House, there is only one choice for them at this point: Obama.