Letters to the Editor
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Damn you!
Oh, you are so going down to the Hades Paglia. 8th Ring, 4th pit on the right. How dare you reveal your skepticism! We all know skepticism has become obsolete in finding out the truth now that we have the Sacred Oracle to compute for us exactly how tall to the inch the tidal wave that will topple the Empire State building will be. The Oracle even Knows what Alex Rodriguez's batting average will be come October, for it is All-Knowing. It knew 2006 would be the most catastrophic hurricane season in many many years. And don't you dare say 2006 was actually a very quiet season. Blaspheme! The Oracle is Never wrong! It is very smart and very modern! Just like Starbucks patrons. Brains are so old-fashioned and fallible. Yuck! You should really stop using yours, like the rest of us! Then maybe you'd go to more parties! But there is still hope. You had better pay some extra Indulgences to High Priest Gore to salve this terrible transgression. But keep in mind, when you kneel before him to humbly atone, we will be listening. You won't get away with muttering anything heretical under your breath like that dude Galileo did with his "but it still moves" crap.
Ok, I'm off now to fire off an email to NPR to have them take down this dangerous and blasphemous audio recording. It purports to be a debate, but we all know it is the devil's work.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=9082151