Garrison, you're a weird guy, and I mean that in the best way, Lutheran-to-Lutheran, possible.

I used to listen to PHC in a food coma on the way home from dinner out: one night a week, Saturday, pasta usually, then PHC on the way home in the backseat of Dad's giant, American-made sedan. The backseat speakers warbled just enough to keep us kids awake through the broadcast.

Mmm...pasta.

I am seeing this dork going back to Denmark.

But I had a clear vision of The Former Occupant as an amputee incurred when he was "clearing brush" in the poor little misbegotten Crawford town in Texas. Whacked the lower leg limb off just below the kneecap. ( So difficult to fit a prosthesis there, ask any patient in Walter Reed.) Many and many's the time I've said to his hearing impaired staff.."NO SHARP TOOLS!"

But they didn't listen. They never do.

There is a time when one can sense that a man has reached the end of that fragile tether on the sublime that we all call ‘the present reality’. I greatly fear that good citizen Keillor has finally lifted the lid on the lutefisk once too often for indeed we can all agree that the smell coming from DC is akin to a slightly 'off' kettle of fish and he feels so worn as to want a brief respite from the fray. Dalliances such as this ditty are evidence of a war weary warrior seeking some solace in separation and subsidence.

Sir Garrison thy comments are beginning to range in the manner of a weary man who knows that he must speak of the extraneous if only to avoid the pain of dealing with the obvious.

We need not speculate on the fate of Washington outcasts good sir ... nor upon their second career options ... Dig deep Garrison for though thou art tired the actual battle against the forces of darkness is but yet in the stages of early maneuvers.

Let Bush be Bush … now hold fast the tiller against the ’ scurrilous’ likes of Steele, Pence, Cantor, Boehner, Price and the yet undead McCain.

This is no time to wander into the dalliance of such diversions as prognosticating on possible second acts .... it is rather a time to gird thy loins for the coming true test of wills in the battle to save the country from the dark and sinister forces arrayed against the citizenry who though bloodied are still capable of plunging their crude spears through the heartland of America.

We wish thee well oh tired and noble defender of the chivalrous cause and we also wish thee a stout heart and second wind in order to lay low the new surge of the Neo-Con ’Monsters of Mordor’.

The Hobbit of the country are worthy of your second …. Indeed your third effort.

The next time I see that reckless fool appearing on TV regularly I imagine it is gonna be from the Hague.

If he had a greater range of reading and cultural observation, perhaps he might remember the words of Norman Osborne in the movie Spider-Man. "The only thing they like more than a hero is to see a hero fail, fall, die trying. In spite of everything you've done, eventually they will hate you... Why bother?"

The right-wing destroyers of our nation, beloved only by Salon member Elephantman, were once heroes to the great unwashed. Including, dare I say, a lot of people in Lake Woebegone. But now that their heroism has been punctured, they are receiving the hate they deserve.

For an example, tour Hoover Dam. The National Park Service guide takes proper care to note that the place is named, not after the President that supported and exacerbated the Great Depression, but the Secretary of Commerce under Harding. That Secretary worked a political compromise that threatened to end the much-needed dam project. Yes, they were the same person. But the guide separates the two careers of the man, something the average person would not.

(The place was briefly renamed "Boulder Dam" until 1947, by which time many, but not all, people had gotten over their hatred of Hoover.)

Perhaps Keillor should spend time with O.J. Simpson and ask about post-celebrity careers, and the forgiveness of the public. That shouldn't be as hard as the luggage carousel encounters Keillor talks about; for the first time in years, Simpson isn't moving around a lot.

You are kidding, right?

Has the President mentioned your name in public recently? No and not many others either. Seems to me that Rush is in the highest echelon of celebrities.

And Ann Coulter? What is that line from Much Ado About Nothing where Beatrice says something to the effect that disdain will do very well when there is such meat as Benedick provides. In the same way, Ann and all the other conservatives are going to have a wonderful time during the next 4 years with the antics of the Ozzie and Harriet of the 2000's--Nancy and Harry.

And if the President's early stumbles (which surprise even us conservatives after his terribly well disciplined campaign) are any indication, Rush and Ann and the rest are not the only ones who will have fun with him--even John Stewart is gonna get involved. Heck, as the memory of Bush/Cheny quickly recedes from the notoriously short memory of the American people, even Keith O and Rachel M are going to need some meat to feed on. And the only meat in the fridge these days is Democrat meat. Grind me a pound.

Why, why, WHY do I read the letters??? Every time I read GK's articles (let alone his books!), I'm left with such a nice feeling... I just love the way he writes. Period. Then there is the awful compulsion to see what others are saying. I think to myself, "Don't do it, DO NOT click on the link to the letters!!" Then I do it. I do it because I'm a readaholic. Just HAVE to read everything, even though I know better. Then, after reading the letters, inevitably I'm sad... Mr. Keillor, I just want to say (if YOU read these letters) PLEASE -- NEVER STOP WRITING! Reading your words makes me happy. And, there are so very few things in life that still make me happy.