I've been the daughter of divorced parents - it's horrible how much you lose - you cannot even realize. Yeah, we look OK - we're not falling apart in the street - doesn't change the reality - and the statistics - divorce is awful - even when the parents are as good about it as is possible.

And I've been the wife whose husband has been being more and more of a total jerk, destroying our marriage.

I didn't cheat, not in any way - but I sure know how it's going to take time for her to trust you again. I sure know how destructive that is, when your husband seems to no longer care, and that goes on for a long time.

Nothing excuses the cheating - but if she's willing to work with you, work on the marriage over time - only you can decide if you can forgive her. And no - it does not harm your daughter for her to see you fighting for your marriage, rather than giving up. Ignoring a ton of affairs, accepting abuse - yeah, that would hurt her (and when she had to watch her mother accepting any verbal abuse or neglect you threw her way - that was bad too) - but working through all this is a good thing for her to see. Marriage isn't always easy, and if you are going to commit for life, you have to be ready for some rough patches.

so that gives you a bellwether to Washington's antics.

I probably knew you in high school.

I remember the days when Republican governor Stan Stevens was proposing a sales tax. Now Dem Schweitzer is slashing spending.

Ah montana. Maybe the best thing about the last best place is the "red state blue state" ideologies never really took hold there. In Missoula, where I'm from, there is about an equal mix of liberals from the east coast (who tend to be educated but not wealthy because they came to the state fleeing the Wall Street fate of their siblings) and conservatives-generally wealthier and with a hand in the mining or logging business. In the East, in Billings, the largest population center in the state, the conservatives are oilmen and ranchers, and the liberals are fewer, but they're there.

My point is, whatever increment montanans were more practical and pragmatic than their california counterparts, that's the reason we dodged the bullet. That shared commitment to an honest living - whether liberal or conservative - in lieu of a rampantly narcicistic, materialistic, McMansion lifestyle funded by credit, came through for us.

At least not the whole thing as I understand it. I do think something to stop the silly 3/4 requirement to pass legislation or the budget would be better. With a 3/4 requirement that makes for a tyranny of the minority (the republicans). It gives too much power to a small portion of the legislature. They have nothing to gain by working with the other side, and so they don't.

The other thing, as a few others have mentioned, is to repeal 3-strikes and other stupid laws that have done nothing but increase the prison population. There's no reason on earth so many people should be locked up here, particularly over f'g vice!

Property taxes do NOT need to be raised. We're paying a huge amount (over $20,000 a year) as it is. That's more than enough.

And I sure am tired of all the turds who characterize any complaint made by someone as whiny. California has paid more than its share of the federal tax burden forever, it's time it got something back more in keeping with what it's provided and continues to provide.

I do think the proposition process needs some sort of overhaul, it was wrong that it was easier to take away my rights (prop 8) than it is to pass a fucking budget.

--Ron

is in WAY over his head. He never should have been made governor, but for the screwy initiative system we have, he would never have been. For all his bluster, he is soft. We need a governor right now that will put so much pressure on the republican rump in the legislature that they are forced to act. Sadly Schwarzenegger is not up to the task. However this too shall pass. We will survive and thrive, as we have always done in the past.

now that's a nightmare.

Another reason for the log jam is the large number of uncontested races in California caused by a pact between the parties to create "safe" gerrymandered districts. If the races were more competitive the candidates would have to move to the center, but because their not, each side can take stronger views than the population wants.

I've lived in California for 21 of my 25 years. When I see the arrogance and standoffish nature of the Republicans in power I want to puke. I am from a very anti-tax, anti-government, rural area of California, way up north, and the people here just eat up the small government schtick but then complain when their farms aren't subsidized by the taxpayers or when the schools have no money. The problem is not that people do not care, it is that "pride in ignorance" is practiced and preached.

Also, I don't know if anyone addressed it yet, but one commenter said that the illegal immigrants equal 5 billion or more, which is not really believable. The population of the state is estimated at somewhere around 37 million, so where are the billions of people hiding?

actually gets $1.64 back for every $1 it pays in Federal taxes. Commitment to honest living, my ass. Commitment to thievery is more like it.

California gets back .81 for every $1 it pays in. Why isn't our governor lobbying Washington to correct this disparity?

California's state income tax structure is highly regressive. For a very long time, Californians have believed that those with wealth should bear a heavier tax burden than those without. I do not disagree with this philosophy. The problem is that it makes for very uneven State income. When the stock market and real estate investments do well, the State has more money than it knows what to do with. In the "flush" years, Republicans promote tax cuts and rebates; Democrats want to spend more money. There is not an effective way to put the money in the "bank" and let it sit for the lean years.

When investments do poorly, the State simply loses vast amounts of revenue. Over the past two years, the State literally has received no taxes on investment income, as there has been no investment income. It's as if your family suddenly had a huge pay cut, with no replacement income.

So, given the massive income cut no choice exists but to both raise alternate sources of income and very significantly cut spending. You cannot "cut" your way out of a 20 billion hole (a third of the entire budget). Nor can you tax your way out. You need to do both.

The problem we have is a population that wants a beautiful state, roads, parks, and schools and that wants to put a good deal of the population in prison, but wants "rich" people to pay for everything (anybody but me). We also have a minority in our Legislature that refuses to acknowledge that some type of new revenue source is necessary.

The Republicans really are the problem right now. Democrats have acknolwedged and passed bills that very significantly cut spending in real and painful ways. Republicans just sit in the Legislature and say "no" to any form of revenue generation, even though they are a relatively small minority. We can't change the Legislature, because the State is so gerrymandered that every representative has a "safe" seat (Democrat and Republican). We can't raise taxes or fees without a supermajority (either through the Legislature or through ballot initiative). So, we are just stuck in a disfunctional mess with no way out.