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Just indulge my suggestion for a second: Call up a mental health professional -- just pick one randomly from the phone book -- and tell them the following:
There's a website where I'm not allowed to participate. Whatever I write there is automatically deleted by college interns or others as soon as it's seen, anywhere from between 5 seconds to, at most, 15 minutes after I write it. Nobody ever sees what I write.
Despite this, I spend much of my day -- every day, hour upon hour, day after day, week after week -- sitting in front of the computer, writing things at this website that I know virtually nobody will ever see. I've been doing this for months now. This consumes hours of my time every day.
In fact, this definitively futile activity has become one of the major focal points of my life. I spend a substantial portion of my finite life writing things that are erased within an average of 60 seconds, and I can't stop and don't want to stop. I have nothing else to do with my time or with my life.
Don't take my word for it about what this means. Just see what an actual mental health professional says upon hearing this. You don't have anything to lose by asking one of them what this might mean.
