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Wayyyyyy back on page 10, you offered up a "not at all short first sentence." I loved it. It presents an engaging narrative, but also a true understanding of punctuation and grammar. IMHO, a writer (or editor) can only "mess with the rules of style" etc. when one first has the base knowledge of what is being messed with! (Ah, Kerouac, Steinbeck even, James Joyce, DeLillo, Faulkner, certainly e.e. cummings and so many more...)
Anyway, I'm simply writing to say thanks to you. (However, I am biased because I'm a writer/editor ;)