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Some of what I would say to you I won't post in public. But as I know very well from experience, if the Internet is your sole link to humanity, you require help, and to get to the point where that is not true. (Not to disparage your fear of losing online access; I understand that.)
This is all fun, and often important, but one needs face-to-face interaction with other humans and a non-cyber circle, however small, of meat-space friends or associates. Please, try to find that.