Letters to the Editor
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"Interaction with [TROLLS] = self-pwnage"
I never had a little brother, so not responding to little needling attacks is a habit that's something I'm having to learn late in life.
There is, of course, the Swift Boat Principle (not responding to attacks doesn't make them go away), but I think in most cases, as with our resident trolls, it's pretty clear the silent treatment is best. It enhances one's peace of mind, helps avoid reinforcing a really negative view of the human animal, and improves the signal-to-noise ratio in comments.
Plus, even if you could teach a pig to sing, who on Earth would want to hear it?