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There's a part in the Pentagon Papers that crystallised my feeling about Vietnam. It describes a cabinet-level meeting in the autumn of 1963 where the pros and cons of supporting a coup against Diem were discussed. It was felt that neither the Diem government nor any potential replacement was likely to provide success against the regime in the North. Given this, Robert Kennedy asked why the US was in Vietnam if both courses led to failure.
That right there is the essence of Vietnam to me. The fundamental question - namely, would the endeavour further the West against communism - was assumed from the get-go and never really re-examined.