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He wouldn't keep screwing over the gay community, civil libertarians, and the liberal wing of the Democratic Party if he didn't really love us.
It's our fault that he has to keep betraying our causes; we don't support him enough. Besides, where else is there to go? Who could we go to? The alternatives are so much worse.
Maybe if we tried to make ourselves a little more attractive to him once in a while, he might pay more attention to us. All that flirting he's doing with the right wing? It's because he doesn't get enough loving at home, from us.
He's a good man, really. We just need to show him more appreciation, be more attentive to his needs. I'm sure he'll come around before much longer. You'll see. It will all be like the old days, back during the campaign. Remember all the sweet things he used to say? How he was going to oppose FISA, telecommunications amnesty, DADT, torture, the abolition of habeas corpus, secret prisons, genocide denial, and all that? He really meant those things, I'm sure. He's just waiting for the right time, that's all.
Things are a little stressed right now. It's hard for him. But he still loves us, deep down. See, he gave the gay community all those rights. Okay, they're only for federal employees. All right, all the most important benefits were left out. But it's the thought that matters, isn't it?
It's all our fault, really. We don't deserve rights. But we'll make things right. We'll put on our nicest outfits, make ourselves look pretty, and he'll love us again.
Just wait. You'll see.
