He who makes light of other men will be killed by a turnip.

you're killing me...

should be careful with his turnips!

I think "Sugar" is my favorite.

There once was a Fox-News blowhard

Emitting fatuous ideological lard

Transformed on Salon

Into poems so wrong

Readers said "What a bas-tard"

I know you've got another brilliant ode to the Beckster in you.

Okay..my turn.

There once was a poet named Beck

Who was a total uptight

Button downed wreck

He gets up on Fox

Totally half cocked

And for this he gets a fuckin' paycheck

he's a prick

that's his effect

a kind of neglect

a failure to connect

Beck has his fans

his posse and his band

the illness he projects

it makes him the man

give the man a hand

Dude I already rhymed "Beck" with "paycheck." Next time try Chang Kai Shek. Or turtleneck. Or Hasselbeck. Or wreck! I can't believe I didn't use wreck!

--------------

There once was a wannabe Limbaugh

To Rush's Mustafa he was Simba

But in setting a new low bar

He was much more like Scar

Giving viewers a gigantic rim job

Man you walk away the don't throw turnips at glass houses award..true greatness!

here at Salon

Can't get me enough of that..

BAT SNOT!

Sorry man I didn't see other earlier edition of Beck odes...no plundering was intended.

Go, Daddy-O, Go.

"You, no longer wearing the top hat and no longer happy..."

Haunting. Thank you for making the first part of my week special.

There once was a would-be O'Reilly

Who spun like a coyote named Wile E.

Talking in circles

For neocon jerkles

His face had a sh*t-eating smiley

Is someone going to publish a book of this man's poetry?

Some psychotic is probably gonna publish this shit..

Foxnews has an anchor named Glenn

who thinks Government's original sin

Father Coughlin's his shtick

and nightly it's sick

how he incites Invictus's kin

..poetry!

There once was a blustering doofus

On a show like that guy with the loofahs

Pro-life except for Iraqis

Gun rights; none for Brokebackies

No Gallant was this dim-witted Goofus

There is a head, crying

It is in a box as I walk

I walk through the room

And the person watching here...

And the person here

They see the head

The head in the box

They see it crying

And he's talking

He's talking through his tears

About something important

Important to him

Enough to cry about

More than split milk, I guess

But I don't hear words

I cannot understand the head

The language is Madlib

Madlib is a language, I think now

Now that the head has spoken it

And you must cry because

You realize nobody understands you

Foxnews has a nightly new star

whose ranting has taken him far

I think it's a joke

'cause what did he smoke

to make Obama a fascist new Tsar?

Glenn Beck thinks that he could go further

if Obama declared himself Führer

if this ain't an act

he must be a quack

with ammo inside of his furniture

Lately Glenn's been so overwrought that by the Friday AM radio show, which I tune into on the way to work, he is about to dissolve into paroxysms of fear and tears and self-pity. Anyway, this is for him:

The prophet of doom Mr. Beck

Is a sobbing emotional wreck

From warning the nation

Of the commie invasion

And he'll drown in his paranoid dreck.

And it's about a billion times BETTER than Beck's bullshit...and you guys didn't even get paid by some prick at Fox to get artistic!

encore! encore!

Good to see one of my longtime Vertigo favorites here. (Some of you: check out CRUEL & UNUSUAL by him, the brilliant Jamie Delano, and John McCrea. It's not their best work, but it's fun)

Anyone who wants more Peyer, check out his(and a few others') blog, BEER & MEAT:

http://superfrankenstein.blogspot.com/

I like your Blog

Some very bright and insightful

Whiplash writing there

It's always a heartening thing

When one finds minds

Then tend to incline

Towards eyes fully open

Intelligently and perceptivily

Gratefully

Unblind

Please, never do this kind of article again, Salon. Things are depressing enough without a vomit festival.

I don't think so. Waste of space.

Soiling the airwaves

Fecal political crud

Glenn Beck: big asshole

The people at Fox must have checked less,

To let on a shrieker so feckless.

Hails from the OC,

And loves the OE.

Oh, for the day we'll be Beckless.

We have medication for people like Glenn Beck.

I can't help but believe our friends at FOX are doing us a favor. The more America is exposed to the rantings of people like Beck, Hannity, Coulter, Ingrham (et al,) the better it is for the rational majority. Their arguments are lame and based on bombast and half truths. They are preaching to the choir and they know it. And so, they rant and rave, foam at the mouth, and chew the carpet, all in an attempt to keep their dwindling minions entertained. I for one am happy they are with us. Each time one of them opens his/her mouth they only confirm how ignorant they believe their audience is. And little by little, that audience is coming to realize that fact.

I thought Stephen Colbert was being satirical when he implied that Beck was insane, but "Forgotten Man," even when rendered back into prose, is absolutely "batsnot" insane. However, there is unfortunately so much precedent for Beck's act that he seems most of the time to be reading a script.

Those of us old enough remember 1975-8, when the Survivalist movement got going. It, too, had false Jeremiahs, false Davids singing psalms about their memories of the lost Zion of Eisenhower. Indeed, the survivalists rallied around the most extreme, most emotive, most insane. After the recession and stagflation caused by the oil shock passed, these people became the militia movement that gave us Timothy McVeigh.

What they did not have that Beck does have, though, is a national cable platform. When he begins to offer cabins on Indian land in Montana, he's going to make a lot of money.