Letters to the Editor
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Take out the "T" and they'd move on to the next initial
Anyone who truly believes Republicans and Christian conservatives would breath a collective "Whew" if the dreaded "T" were removed and support any gay civil rights laws is sadly mistaken.
Personally, I feel no connection to the transgendered community and don't really feel they are part of the gay community, but we have become somethng like The Island of Misfit Toys. I say keep the "T." If it takes longer, if it takes more work, so be it. If a few more people can eventually see some of the burdon of a very difficult life lifted so much the better.
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Politics isn't like medicine
The point of the black suffrage/woman suffrage analogy (which Aravosis raised, though it does not much help his case) is that in politics gains can be, and often are, taken away. So don't fuck over your allies.
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speaking of whittling away
What if they get us and you to drop the transgendered on the way to our BLG civil rights? Then isn't the half loaf that we're glad to swallow not just the "rights" they grant us, but the privilege of being in their club? I see the practicality of it, I really do. And as a married bi man I have long enjoyed rights and expectations that are pretty much exactly what I'm asking about, and simply not given to other people in our big tent (how 'bout that ol metaphor?!). But we do risk losing so much by widening the floor of the cage or whatever metaphor you want to throw at it. Leaving people behind on the front? Widening the Green Zone?
Yeah, liberals "want it all". Yeah, dammit, and it's so pie in the sky to ask for it too. I'm reminded of an old theological question my most beloved teacher might ask in a completely different context: What's the matter John, don't you like pie? Maybe, maybe I can be convinced to "compromise" this way if we refuse to rest on our laurels. But I think I'm unwilling to do that to my trans brothers, sisters and cousins. Ugh.
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Fear of femininity
Putting aside the issue of political pragmatism, I think there are many gay men who are uncomfortable being associated in most people's minds with transgendered people. A gay man's level of comfort with such unity, I think, is related to how comfortable that man is with expressing traditionally non-masculine traits. There's a whole subculture of hypermasculine gay men who search themselves in fear of any trace of a lisp or too much vocal intonation. Those are the gay men who are most likely to loathe being associated with biologically-born men who want to be women.
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Thingswesaid's list is classic - but not in a good way
From Thingswesaid:
Wait! There's More!
Add a "P" for the polyamorous. . .
a "Be" for the beast-attracted. . .
a "Ped" for the pederast crowd. . .
a "C" for the Cushies. . .
don't forget an "N" for the Nambla folk. . .
an "SM" for the leathers. . .
why stop there? Anything goes, right?
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Heck no, anything does NOT go. I'm a polyamory activist, and I object most strongly to this tendency of those who oppose the very existence of sexual minority groups to throw sexual activities that are clearly abusive and harmful, i.e. beast-attracted, pederast, Nambla, in with those that are practiced by consenting adults, i.e. polyamory and SM-leather-fetish. Children and animals cannot give informed consent, and anyone who uses them for sexual purposes damn well ought to be put in jail. There is a HUGE difference in terms of what are ethical, respectful, and loving forms of sexual expression and relationship identity, and those that are not.
If you are going to oppose and oppress us, thingswesaid, wouldn't it at least be appropriate to first find out what the essential differences are between the various forms of sexual expression you list?
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RE: My continuing dialogue with John Aravosis
What a great post! This should be put on the front page of Salon next to John's article.
I'm just a gay guy, who's been around awhile, who's got a trans relative who I love. But I can't articulate this conversation like that post. Just beautiful, and well.......if I'm allowed........FABULOUS.
(Does that make me a trannie? It wasn't very masculine.)
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This is why I don't care...
Yes "recently" means 30 years ago. Considering I'm a 33 year old gay man, I haven't been considered "mentally ill" for my whole lifetime by the psychiatric community. However, people suffering from gender dysphoria are still considered mentally ill.
My bf and I have argued about it (he's a doctor & his mom is a psychiatrist) and he's managed to convince me. If you believe you are Napoleon, you are clearly mentally ill because it is FACT that Napoleon lived in the past, etc, etc. So now someone comes to me and says "I was born with XY chromosomes and male primary & secondary sexual characteristics, but I'm really a woman". Um, sorry to say, but how different is denying that reality from the Napoleon reality?
Just because you don't see air, doesn't mean it doesn't exist? Just because you can't see inside someone's brain doesn't mean they don't have a headache right? Just because you don't have my lifepath or experience doesn't mean my personal experience can be easily dismissed?
To be quite honest, I gave up on the GLBT community a long time ago. Make it GLB. In fact why even have L or B? Why not just be G?
I have integrated back into society as a normal woman and live a life as such. At this point in my life, I don't care if the whole community goes down in flames. Gay marriage doesn't matter to me (unless I moved to Kansas, which isn't going to happen), and as far as rights, what rights do I need anymore? If ENDA passed it would have no effect on me anymore, so why not just throw it out altogether? You L's or G's don't need special protections anyways. You can always go to work and fake normal to keep your jobs.
I learned to live my life on my own terms. The only reason why I care is for the people who come after me. If they ask me for advice today, I tell them to tough it out and suck it up. Life isn't fair and it's even less fair when you parade around as Napoleon in a dress. I would rather be able to say that they have a bright future ahead of themselves as opposed to a bullseye on thier backs, but such is life.