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• Thursday, June 7, 2007 10:50 AM

  Waiting for the smackdown/Regarding Buffie

  ...between the two most knuckle-headed writers ever to have spotted up the pages of Salon.

  Please please please, when it comes time for this 'zine to raise funds, do consider a cage match featuring Debra 'Race Ragin' Dickerson and Camille 'Bee-yatch Baitin' Paglia. Considering the volumes of mail from fed up readers that these two generate, I bet if you did a pay-per-view on cable with simulcast streaming online (for a modest fee, of course - you could call it 'Premium Match Streaming' or PMS for short) you could fatten up those coffers for years to come.

  And now a word about Buffie the Body. Did Debra actually LOOK at the photos on Buffie's page? Of course they mostly feature her most amazing tushie, but there is one that features Buffie's very fit looking and toned abdomen. Buffie is not fat.

  I'd happily tote around a can the size of all outdoors if I could ever get my abs that flat and nice. But they never will be that way. Genetics, you know. Kinda like the reason why Buffie's butt is so big. She could probably eat a diet of carrots and tofu for the rest of her days and she'd still have an ample behind.

  Seriously, it's time to kick the Dick to the curb and go find another spokesperson for all us Negroes out here, someone who won't spike our already high ('cause you know it's a problem for us folks) blood pressure.

  —Kas Read Kas's other letters
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