Letters to the Editor
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not easy
As usual, I think you're about half wise and half nitwitted. Yet another article stating that some black people "aren't really black"? If your kids grew up the same way, in snow-white upstate New York surrounded by privilege, but had a different father, a darker father, would they count as black then? Are only those who suffer allowed to be black now?
On another note, this article made me feel like giving you a hug. This isn't easy, is it?
Skip the fried catfish; you're right, it's unhealthy. But there's nothing wrong with greens and hominy. Surely you can learn to cook some of your favorite childhood foods in ordinary, every-day, non-Thanksgiving sized portions? Seems only fair - your kids should be allowed to enjoy some of the blessings of the culture you grew up in.
Oh, by the way: I'm a white woman from an upper-middle-class family, and I sobbed through Color Purple myself. Good writing need not be specific to your personal experiences to be cathartic.
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DonaQuixote...
...you rock. On behalf of earnest liberals everywhere, I commend you highly for telling another name-caller what time it is. It's so refreshing to see that happening all over the place these days. Re your quest, if this is an issue that you are conscious of while you are socially interacting with a person of "otherness," I'm afraid your thought processes will probably be noticeable. To be specific, no one will know exactly what's going on in your head; they will just see that the wheels are turning about something. Self-consciousness of this can create a vicious circle of awkward and potentially off-putting behavior. My Rx for this, tested and true: put yourself in environments where you are the "other" and you are dealing with people unlike you all day long. It's refreshing to see how quickly everything, including your behavior, becomes unremarkable.
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To "A Mother Who Knows Better"
Next time you get the urge to post about anything again, take a deep breath, sit down and go to a happy place in your mind - forever.
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What a hypocrite: DD's kids are black & Barack Obama isn't???
How silly, self-ignorant and blind can DD be? While she tells her bi-racial kids "Honey. You're black. Did you know that?" And yet she writes about (and gets national media coverage) how bi-racial Barack Obama isn't black, isn't Black enough or is an African-African-American Black or whatever??? Give me a freakin' break.
What a complete and utter crock of horse crap.
I pray for DD's kids because if their Mom is this confused, contradictory and convoluted about race, they're going to be way more f**ked then DD and that's saying a lot.
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Elisabeth, you might want to get schooled...
>It would be nice if black people could move away from the idea that they have to ghettoize themselves by maintaining a separate subculture in the US.<
And why would they think _that_, I wonder? Guess the poor dears are so paranoid and ignorant they've been imagine the fact that one major political party has been using appeals to racism as a tool to get votes for the last fifteen years or so. Or that society continues to come up with more ways to marginalize them economically than it does to help them climb up the ladder? Or that no matter how successful and talented a black person is, they still have to fight doubts as to whether they are "qualified?" Or, perhaps they were just dreaming what happened to New Orleans? Yeah, that's it.
> How about if we could all just be Americans?<
You first, babe. You might want to start by finding out what's really going on with African-Americans instead of proclaiming your condescension and lack of knowledge from on high. Word-to-the-wise: a few hours listening to Tom Joyner or Tavis Smiley would be a good start. Let me guess--you have no idea who they are or what they represent. Then you are the last person to lecture blacks on anything.
> Sure there are people in Mississippi and such places that are still living in the 19th century but that is largely not true in urban America.<
*snort* Go to the mostly-white suburbs of Chicago or Boston and see how wonderfully accepting of AAmericans they are out there. Go to the ritzy small stores on 63rd Street in NYC and see how happy they are to let blacks in to shop. And don't even ask black New Jerseyans about the joys of driving-while-black. You might want to inquire of Sean Bell in NYC--oh, that's right, he was killed by police for no good reason other than they suspected him of doing something wrong because he was black and just happened to might-somehow-have-been-tangentially-involved-in-
something-suspicious maybe. Come to think of it, skip Tom Joyner and Tavis Smiley and hie yourself off to your local high-school for a remedial crash course in AAmerican current events. With luck that might not only work that mote out of your eye, but give you some sight back, as well--:).
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Kids are kids
Little kids are trying to understand the world. And we have to "explain" things within the limits of what they can handle, e.g., "don't let anyone touch you there, and tell us if someone tries." We are not going to explain pedophilia to our six year old, either.
We (mom and dad) both look northern european (lily white). Our son got all the southern european genes -- dark brown hair and eyes, and medium brown skin. So much so that we and he have frequently been asked if he is Indian (from India, not Native American) or Yemeni (we live in the Middle East).
I am pretty sure he asked at some point or other about skin colors, and we just said "God makes people with different colors of skin, hair and eyes, just like clothes and cars come in different colors." We also regularly point out that culture matters (to behavior); color is irrelevant (refer to the previous Barack Obama discussion).
This is easy when your friends (and his friends) represent a broad spectrum of nationalities and physical characteristics, where "we" (Westerners) are a minority.
It sounds like it would help to be less self-conscious (go ahead and teach 'em Ebonics) and to try and find a more diverse circle of friends and playmates.