Letters to the Editor
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Nice
Nice writing. I enjoyed reading this very much.
I thought the same thing about Obama when he first came on the scene and everyone was calling him black. He has a white mother and a black father, so why isn't he considered "biracial" instead of black, I thought. Calling him black sounds so much like an endorsement of the old one-drop rule to me.
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Dear Ms. Dickerson,
Don't you know a single thing about being a parent? Don't you know anything at all about child development?
Don't you have any respect for your children, at least enough to not lie to them, disrespect their questions, be honest with them about something as simple as a tatoo or a query about how they are beginning to perceive the world around them? Shame on you. Please stop collecting a weekly check for bragging about what a lousy parent you are and just do something about being a better mother to your children. Please. For their sake.
Dear Salon,
Congratulations. I thought Ayalet Waldman was the worst parent ever who got paid to write about it. (Close second: Anne Lamott) But this woman is just stone cold stupid with regards to rearing her children. I could care less about her silly opinions about whether Obama is "black enough." But please--she goes out of her way to admit to her constant ignorance of any parental responsibility or common sense. This borders on abuse, let alone poor editorial judgment. Stop giving this woman a forum for her stupidity, I beg you!
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can we stop being politically correct...
by referring to ebonics as a language, and those who speak it as bilingual? Nothing disgusts me more than being taught to accept ebonics, or any other type of slang language, as a valid form of communication. For me, this is equal to accepting internet slang (b/c, lol, cuz, how are u, etc...) as legitimate. It makes anyone of intelligence view you as less intelligent or educated, and how is that something that should be celebrated? Shouldn't children be taught the exact opposite?
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Reponse from a reader
Great article, full of insight and inspiration. I'd like to read more by Ms. Dickerson.
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Missing the trees for the forest.
While I understand (or at least sympathize with) the issues her son's question raises for Ms. Dickerson, I think in her anxiety to address the social context of her appearance, she's missed the point of her son's question. He doesn't seem to care what being black means yet; he just wants to know what causes it. He might not understand the concept of skin pigmentation any more than he gets the distinction between black and brown, but it'd at least clarify that Mommy isn't "burned." The rest can come later.
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Whatever
All the nonsense about letting them "choose" their heritage is going to go right the hell out of the window the first time some halfwit cracker calls Ms. Dickerson's kids "nigger." Her ideas about race were ridiculous when she was talking about Barack Obama ("It's okay, officer! I'm biracial! I'm reaching for my wallet!") and they're ridiculous when she's talking about her kids.
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Reluctant Tourist
This article makes me wonder, though, what options there are for people who grow up in mostly white neighborhoods and wind in workplaces with mostly white colleagues. How do we seek out legitimate experiences with people of color, without being "racial tourists"? My lack of experience with people of color is something that I very much regret about my upbringing, and yet I do not know how one gains such experience in the real world without coming off as disingenuous and intrusive. I'm asking this question earnestly, and with no intention of causing offence.
Also, anyone interested in the lives of biracial children might enjoy Zadi Smith's /On Beauty/, which features three biracial children (well, actually, young adults) who all come up with very different ways of developing racial identities.
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Well written and thoughtful
It would be nice if black people could move away from the idea that they have to ghettoize themselves by maintaining a separate subculture in the US. How about if we could all just be Americans? Sure there are people in Mississippi and such places that are still living in the 19th century but that is largely not true in urban America. Hopefully Ms. Dickerson's children have a chance to be just people, not identified by how much pigment their skin has. If you think about it, we can ALL trace our ancestry back to Africa, depending on how far back you go. Let's get over it.
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Issues of race
The issue of race is this womans problem, not her kids - and with any luck it will never be, if people like this mom don't let it go, they will just teach a whole new generation of kids racism in the name of heritage, and to kids of multi-ethnic backgrounds, leave them the option of self-loathing. Or you can drop the whole race thing.
My 14 year old hangs with kids of all colors and back grounds, and seems completely obvious to the color of her peers, doesn't hesitate to invite them over, tease, fight and all the other things that 14 years do with her peers.
Mom is of a different generation, I notice, I notice the race/class of every kid my kid hangs with, and I wish I didn't --- and nothing can make me happier than my kid being oblivious to it. But this woman is just wondering when she can bring it up and make a major drama of it. And force her kids to notice race, and worry about other people based on their color. Instead of saying some people are different colors, her little boy wouldn't have kept picking at it - if she didn't act so guilty when hearing an innocent question. A simple answer, and he would have been satisfied, and telling a blond kid whose skin is white that he is black? So what does mom mean by black? Does she even know? Talk about messing up her kids.
How about saying mom is black, and some of the people who are your family and love you are black, and some day your kids might be, isn't it great everyone gets to be their own color? Even your color is unique, and no one will have the same shade of white that you do.