Letters to the Editor
-
man hating castrator?
When you say vicious things about feminism (hypocrite, castrator) even in jest, it points to the all too powerful hold that the Focus on the Family Agenda has on American (and our own Canadian) society. It would be refreshing to reverse the brainwashing we've all been exposed to in the past few years on feminism.
Feminism is not radical or abnormal or crazy, and you can be a mom and a feminist at the same time. Feminism is normal, okay.
Focus on the Family is a destructive force inour society.
-
The end of blackness?
Ummm...Just out of curiosity. As far as I can tell, Ms. Dickerson is black. Why is the illustration accompanying this piece that of a completely white boy?
-
that's rich
-- rtf100 It is hypocrisy, not hypocracy! There are other things wrong with your posting, too.
-
How about some common sense...
I don't know, has the author thought about loving the kid, treating him like a HUMAN BEING, treating him and his siblings equally all the way around, letting him be a kid and NOT MAKE A FREAKIN' ISSUE OUT OF IT and not being neurotic about the whole thing? Isn't that all you can really do beside provide for physical needs?
Fretting, making it an issue, communicating the weirdness (verbally or non-verbally) will just mess up the kid. So please raise the kid without these questions hanging in the air, DON'T make it an issue that he's male because that would have a similar effect of telling the kid he's stupid his whole life...and let him grow up to be his own person.
-
Why is the illustration accompanying this piece that of a completely white boy?
uh, becaue it isn't? Maybe it's the green that confused you?
-
A general fan letter
I've really enjoyed Debra Dickerson's articles for Salon. Her perspective is unique, her writing fun and unlike a lot of authors, I can't necessarily predict where she's going to go with any given topic. Thanks!
-
A man in her life
Why is there this incessant commenting about how a boy needs a male role model just like a girl needs a female role model, as though we could separate off at birth and meet up after puberty? Children of both (or more) sexes need a broad range of adults as they grow. Luckily, those roles don't have to be filled by just two people.
In the oh-my-god-Salon's-publishing-personal-equals-political-again vein, I had a difficult father who finally walked out on us and trust me, if lesbianism were something you could choose, I would probably have chosen it. Both Ms. Dickerson and I would have benefited from a responsible, supportive male role model... and, no, a father isn't necessarily enough. But anyone who's working as hard as she is to raise individuals instead of categories will probably find a community for her children, however challenging they may be. Best of luck in that endeavor!
-
"the courage of DJD's raw honesty" (Tacroy80)
This phrase makes me want to puke. It's the same misguided bullshit reasoning that Republicans attached to Ronald Reagan, Oliver North, and (until recently), GWB...except they called it "the courage of [his] convictions" or "loyalty" or some other similar brand of bullshit.
Look, DJD does have "raw honesty" but that's because she's too fucking stupid to proofread her screeds and/or she's a true Narcissistic Personality Disorder and believes her shit doesn't stink. Every NPD has a reason; hers is because she's black. Boo fucking hoo, she had a rough life. But she's no longer a child, and she's been breeding--twice. Time to drop the baggage and be both adult and parent.
However you got here can't be changed, DJD. But now that you're here, ask for help. Compensate for your shortcomings. What matters now are your children, because they won't get a second chance at childhood...and you do not want them to grow up as bitter and hateful as you are. Let it go, because you can't change the past.
I know. I'm a single minority parent, too. Life isn't fair. For anyone. It really isn't. Get the fuck over yourself and be a parent to your children.
And please stop bellyaching every week. It's embarrassing to read. Last week you bitched about not wanting to be paid to be black every February. You're getting paid to be black once a week. Take the money. But try earning it as a writer instead.
-
As if we hadn't guessed Brightstar's issues...
>If a father raises a daughter, he will raise her the way he imagines she will be most valued and cherished by the men who inhabit her life.<
Yep, because there have never, ever been fathers who have told their daughters they were worthless and raised them to be house-drudges tied to men. Or sexually abused them. Or favored their sons over them. Brightstar, you hate women, so why not admit it and quit wasting bandwidth around here whining?
-
deering, just a few thoughts
Brighstar and Debra Dickerson are cut from the same cloth. Both hate themselves as much as they project hatred for the other gender; both probably have a history that "justifies" (in their own minds) their behavior.
And both need help. Serious, professional help.
Both are easy targets because each wears his or her attitude as a great big chip on the shoulder. Both are correct, insofar as there are a slim statistical sliver of the kind of stereotypes they each hang their reputations on. But both also operate as is those few bad apples represent everyone on "the other side." Thay have to believe that; to acknowledge otherwise would mean Brightstar and Debra would have to be mature and take responsibility for their own behaviors, too.
Here's hoping both get the help they need while maybe choosing to not be such an easy target by baring their own faults in such an accessible forum as Salon.
-
More Gender Shite
Seems like there are a lot of men, for the most part, getting in a super snark over this article, whereas the letter from women (who might have thought some of the same things) are much more reasonable.
Guys, it's not a personal attack. And even if it were, deal with it. You're big lads, right?
-
PS
I also just want to say, as the lucky partner of a man raised by a delightful feminist mother, that just being a feminist mother is the key to raising a feminist, or at least feminist-sympathetic, man. No need to smack the boy down for being a boy; but feminist prinicples can be passed down in the same way as mothers have always been supposed to instill standards of behaviour (don't lie, don't steal, don't expect me to pick up your messes child).
It seems to me like the writer need not worry nearly as much as she is. At least until Debra Jr hits puberty, anyway.