- Top Features:
- War Room
- Glenn Greenwald
- Broadsheet
- Joan Walsh
- Camille Paglia
- Since You Asked
- Follow Salon:
Read other letters about this article
I'm a newly married hetero woman who's hoping to have a baby. And, I must say, whether or not you're going to jump up and down and get angry about what this woman says about her life experience, that these viewpoints and worries are a common undercurrent that women don't usually talk about in mixed company. I give her a lot of credit for her honesty.
Feminist women as well as the 'undeclared' often express doubt when faced with having a boy. Let's face it... men cause women a lot of grief. Not all men, not _most_ men even, but enough men to have us recognize a pattern - Pavlov's response style. Often, when told they're pregnant with a daughter there's a sigh of relief - it's known, "My favorite kind" I've heard "thank god", it's understandable, women empathize with other women, mother's with daughters. It's logical. But being pregnant with a boy offers up a bunch of worry - 'I'll have to make sure I raise a good man, not like all those other jerks... he'll be a man who is respectful, and selfless, and kind...' it's an active responsibility, at every turn the mother will be on watch making sure the son does well in the world for others as well as himself, this takes much more energy. The evidence around us suggests that not every mother has that kind of energy.
