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I think sometimes the world has gone mad with language police. Here's the problem, in a nutshell. In legal terms, if you and your betrothed go to City Hall, or a Justice of the Peace, you can get "married" any time. For time immemorial, we've called this "civil marriage," to distinguish it from religious marriage. Same legal basis. In fact, identical, that's the point. If you married in the Catholic Church, you couldn't get a divorce, but the state would give you one, because, well, it would give any citizen a divorce as long as they fulfilled the legal standards of that state, which didn't admit to the Catholic inseperable union. Maybe in Franco's Spain, and I know for sure in Duplessis' Quebec, the Church was allowed to define marriage -- but that fell long ago, because it was, you know, a pain in the ass. Even in Quebec during the Dark Ages, you could get a divorce, but it took an Act of Parliament and it was very expensive.
Anyhow, I think this is the key to defeating this craziness, eventually. Find churches that will bless gay marriage. Then appeal on the basis of religious freedom.
And meanwhile, we can claim back the perfectly good term, civil marriage. It's a marriage, see. Only the couple isn't religious. As a courtesy, when a religion marries you, we give you a blood test and a civil marriage license too. So you're joined, and no man can put you asunder, but I wouldn't take that literally. Judges can. God may hate you, but you're cool with the state.