Just so you know, Mr Keillor, the Nordic peoples were chased out of North America by the Natives over a accidental poisoning incident. As for Greenland, there were no living colonists 75 years after landfall. The difference between Christopher Columbus and the Vikings (and the Chinese for that matter) was staying power. This does not in any way apologize for his actions, but Columbus was far from a pirate or an accidental tourist. The reason he has his name on so many things in the Americas is because he came and stayed. All this being said, maybe we could rename April 1st for Bush...

Mr Keillor's pieces are always amusing. Let's hope he was writing tongue-in-cheek when -- like too many Americans on too many subjects -- he presents an exclusively American angle even when the historical record fails to sustain such a narrow reading.

Local chauvinists point to dubious runestones in Mr Keillor's midwestern states as "proof" of Viking visitors. In fact, the only authenticated Norse landfall in North America is at L'Anse aux Meadows, northern Newfoundland, where the foundations of a Viking village were discovered by Helge Ingstad and his wife Anne Stine in 1960. The area is now a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

- PK

That major river in the Northwest is only distantly named after your arrogant fool. Its immediate namesake is the Columbia Rediviva, the ship in which fur trader John Kendrick sailed to the Northwest in 1789. The ship, in turn, was named after the same Columbia as all the other Columbias: a feminization of the name Columbus, representing the New World at large. If a random German cartographer hadn't put an equally obscure Italian's name on some old map, we'd likely be living in North Columbia now.

Who really cares about the details of the travels of Leif et al, and Columbus? I suspect not even Mr. Keillor... who merely uses them to serve his own purpose. But-- his brilliant point about how much worse it can be to "win?" That is a lesson for the ages... coming down to us from even earlier sages, and now repeated by Mr. Keillor.

And as a cheerful antidote to commiserating about our current candidate and his campaign to become the WorstPresidentEver, just imagine if Mr. Keillor were to be elected President... something I indulged in shortly after the 2004 election, while casting about for a Shadow Government:

I would like to expand, just a little bit, though, on why Garrison Keillor seems to be such a natural for the role of Opposition President. There are so many reasons, including that he is from the Heartland, and a liberal battleground state. He is also articulate, prolific, witty, lyrical, and has a great radio voice, which should be very valuable for those Saturday morning talks. And, he surpasses GWB in his embodiment of male archetypes. Whereas, GWB appears to embody the virile warrior to many people (don't ask me why!), Keillor consistently embodies the nurturing father, sometimes the doting grandfather, and is a bit like an uncle, as well. As for virility... well, he is an older than usual father of a very young child, and has a wife who is also a bit younger... and that's all I'm going to say on that subject.

As for his experience in other areas relevant to governing, it should be clear to anyone who is able to read that he already has at least as much knowledge in many of those areas as GWB did when he was first elected-- excepting of course, the drinking & carousing & driving areas-- and playing political dirty tricks.

To get back to his other more serious qualifications, though: Keillor's facility with language, music, and voices, as well as the humorous and topical sketches he writes each week, will ensure his popularity with many, both here and abroad, and set a far better example for our young people about the importance of syntax in effective communication. In fact, I have heard from a very reliable source that one of his first major initiatives will be a Defense of Language Act.

A single shot from the pearl-handled revolver knocks the gun from the hand of the evil sheriff, knocks his hat off, richochets again and renders his belt buckle useless.

I say no to replacing Columbus day. Not because I think Columbus was so swell, but I'll miss the spaghetti. How about the 1st Friday the 13th of each year? Now, to come up with an entree for Bush day... what do you make humble pie out of anyway? Mashed-up fish sticks? Rubber turkey like he served the troops in the photo-op? Tell us Garrison. We're counting on you.

Thanks Garrison, another enjoyable read.

I agree, "A Day to honor kindness, industriousness and ...

Bush is with out a doubt the all time worst pres. The legacy of Bush, Cheney and the entire Bush family is horrendous.

How will our beloved America ever survive two more years of this political criminal who cares not at all for America but only for himself, his loyal friends and the Bush family oil fortunes.

And so many Americans, Iraqis and Afghanis have died and will continue for sociopathic, meglomaniacal man with a messianic complex. How is it that this inconsequential twit can cause so many deaths and so much damage to our America.

Karl Rove is also Norwegian-American. I'd like to think he wouldn't get a warm reception at our Sons of Norway lodge.

President G.W.Bush easily is within reach of the DREGS AWARD. His

pedigree seems to have afforded him little in way of rising to

the stature of the Oval Office at 1600 Penn. Ave. It is a surety this

21st century will be a much more complicated and unchartable one

compared to the 20th. Those who think we are at the threshold of

a New American Century displaying the worse of desire and vanity

to get to ignorance. Following them already proven a very bad idea

in Mesopotamia. The Decider indeed has demonstrated poor decisionmaking

and still has two more years of his reign to endure the consequences.

Hopefully more Americans will begin to understand during this century

that not all the world puts the USA on high mount and beckons to every

American whim or snap of finger. If indeed Americans truly think North

Korea,Iran or Burma begin the day reading American lead paper editorials

or quaking over White House finger wagging they should reconsider thinking

that way as it is not close to the truth of things.

The New World that Columbus stumbled upon hardly registered his arrival

or declaration of discovery. To the Carib Indians he was just another odd

and strange creature come out of the sea. Had they realized even in small

part the threat he was the spearpoint of they likely would have done him

in and all those with him. Of course with time others would have come to

repeat his vainglorious search for wealth and riches. Not much of the New

World survives today untouched or unscathed. Portions of South America now

perhaps only remaining bits and pieces of the pre-European invasion and

rapacity of overtake.

G.W.Bush has little of personal greatness or achievement to point to. His

capitalist credentials sketchy at best. His public office and service record

prior to 2000 being at best mid-range. The 2000 Election likely was tampered

with and he an Accidental President soon became the 9/11 President. Several

years later we know he has been a wastrel of wealth,principle and truth. The

recent erosion of Americanism he has presided over regarding Basic Rights

and the Rule of Law is surely not noble. Of course displaying nobleness or

conducting himself nobly may not seem important to him. And so we reach now

for the scales and weigh him against previous poorly done Presidential Spans.

That he may be the worse President ever who knows? How many more will follow

after him? But surely he has not achieved greatness in leadership or vision.

C.Columbus was a Italian in the service of the Spanish Crown and a creature

of his epoch in desire and defect. What he did perhaps understandable. We know

what followed him was deplorable and the cruelty and rapacity was

needlessly brutal and remorseless.

G.W.Bush should have done better picking out advice and charting a course. He

has now come to a hard place in history. Ignorance is not a defense open to him.

And unleashing American Empire Legions into a deadend debacle his burden to take

when early 2009 opens alone. The New American Century? A historical comma.