Letters to the Editor
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Is he... or isn't he?
I keep hearing and reading rumors that my own Congressman, David Dreier (R-CA) is gay, and has maintained a long-term relationship with his chief of staff. Frankly, I don't care either way, but the hypocrisy of his conservative voting record on gay rights should certainly be open for discussion -- the same as a vote against the ERA by a female legislator would be grounds for an explanation.
Republicans keep bringing up Massachusetts' Democratic Congressman Stubbs, whose 1973 affair with a 17-year-old ex-page was exposed in hearings a decade later. I'm pretty sure Stubbs (who was returned to the House five times after this "revelation") didn't run as a moral puritan, or align his voting record with the Christian right. It's nice to read that Foley had 100% approval ratings from the American Family Association...
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I Couldn't Agree More!
Thank you. It's about time someone addressed this issue rationally.
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... nothing to do with being gay, everything to do with being a pedophile.
Teens (16 or 17 year old boys) are not children. There is something very disturbing in this discussion that dismisses teenage sexuality and takes away from serious discussions of Foley's transgressions. Foley has engaged in sexual harassment while members of Congress and Staffers looked the other way. I don't think this is an issue of whether he's gay and I don't see this as an issue of pedophilia. The fact that there was a large age difference is disturbing, but doesn't make him a pedophile. The main point of this scandal is that sexual harassment was ongoing, widely known and when complaints were made, no one in power did anything.
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Gay?
One of the great pieces of misdirection perpetrated during this scandal has been the announcement that Mark Foley is gay.
Gay? Is there any evidence that Foley was attracted to men?
Being attracted to boys doesn't make one gay any more than being attracted to girls makes one straight. The proper term is "pedophile" and it has nothing at all to do with gay people in politics.
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yes, "pedophilia" seems a misnomer here
My wife's close friend has a 16-year-old daughter; she's 5'9" with a figure that women in their mid-20s would envy. If some 50-year-old jerk at her workplace harrassed her and sent her lewd IMs, I'd want the guy fired and kept away from the girl, but I'd never use the term "pedophile" for him. A 16 year old is too young and the power imbalance is too great, but it's the wrong word: a pedophile is someone attracted to prepubescent or just-barely-pubescent children.
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Fixing the terminology
Ephebophilia: a sexual preference in which an adult is primarily or exclusively sexually attracted to postpubescent adolescents.
The proper term for foley is Ephebophile. Now that's cleared up, can we get back to how wrong Mr. Foley's actions were.
And, as far as gay politicians coming out of the closet or being outed by the media, in many states it would be political suicide.
In Alabama, my home state, it was common knowledge in Montgomery that many of the aids and employees of both Republican and Democratic office holders (including two governors) were gay. The reason it was never discussed, even during issues involving gay rights, marriage etc. was because it would have been political suicide, of the level that would have drawn church groups and extremists from the hills and woods carrying signs stating that said candidate should go home and take his "faggot" with him. It was pretty much a gentleman's agreement that nobody really needed to be put through that.
Dammit, I swore I would never write another letter to Salon. Well, there's another broken promise.
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Terminology
1) I don't believe Kolbe was "open" at the time of DOMA...I have a letter from his defending his vote. And he did earn re-election, and he has served well (for a Republican).
2) A more appropriate term for Foley would be "ephebophile." An ephebe was a young man of later teen years.
Otherwise, an excellent article.
The old saw, "Closets are for clothes" is very apt.
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Boys vs. Men
In this whole discussion about whether Foley was attracted to boys or young men, whether he's gay or a pedophile, it's probably worth noting that in Washington DC (where the majority of his actions presumably took place), the age of consent is 16. And pages, if I remember correctly, must be at least 16 years old (one may be forgiven for cynically wondering if congresspeople wanted to make sure they'd never be vulnerable to statutory rape charges).
In other words, even if Foley had sex with a page, that action by itself was not illegal, and would not be classified as a pedophile act, it seems.
I'm not excusing it, mind you -- there's still a huge power imbalance between a congressperson and a page, and it sure seems like his attentions were unwanted by the page -- but "attracted to boys" is so far something we don't seem to have much evidence for.
-roy
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No Boss Is Supposed To Send Sexy E-mails To People Who Work For Him...
Ever! Especially not to young people who work for him! Any private sector middle-aged executive would be fired for what Foley did. And any executive who let somebody like Foley off the hook, say in Microsoft or General Motors, would be fired too.
My goodness, even if Foley was in star-struck, soul-mate love with one of these pages, there are better ways to communicate! And even if Hastert is an utter management rookie, the proper procedure is utterly, obviously NOT what Hastert did.
This has nothing much to do with pedophilia, or ephebophilia, or homosexuality. It is a creepy, low-level, unimaginative version of sexual harassment. The straw bosses in stables should not stoop to it, much less U.S. Congressmen.
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I'm sorry
but as much as I support any adult publically announcing a relationship with any other adult without facing attacks, shame, or discrimination, neither can I support the invasion of privacy of someone who chooses to make his or her personal relationships with others a more intimate matter.
Even politicians.
Even asshole politicians.
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Gay, one thing. Predatory, another.
All the gay Republicans cannot come out of the closet because they make careers out of appealing to conservatives. Hypocrisy? Yes. Politics? You betcha.
Being gay is one thing. Being predatory is another. The apologists, aka people who like to point out the kids were 'of age,' are really sickening. If you're someone's mentor, you have power over them. If that person is under 18 and you're past your 30s, you have incredible advantage over them. What the fuck does a teenager know about life? Three things: Sex, driving, and music are all fun.
I can use two experiences from my own life to show how you can be clueless in youth.
I was leading boy scouts when I was 23, working as a backpacking instructor. We'd take the kids backpacking for a week at a time. Sexual conduct was something we had training on. The kids I were watching were 16 and 17 year olds (they had to be - it was a two-week backpacking course and pretty demanding).
The eighth night into a session we camped near a lake. One of them said 'let's skinnydip' and I said 'sure.' The other hiking instructor asked me to step aside ( He was 45 ) and said "No way - this is a bad, bad idea."
Until he said that, I was thinking it was a good idea. This may sound unrealistically naive, but I thought it was a purely natural and innocent thing to do ( in fact it was something I did with fellow scouts at nights plenty of times, when I'd been in scouts until I turned 18 ) until my compatriot reminded me of the politics. Then I was shocked at my own stupidity.
But that was me, at 23, and those were the kids. If I'd been one of those kids, I'd have said 'sure,' too. Now if there'd been a pedophile in place of me, he could have gotten off on it, or lead one thing into another. If one of the teens had mentioned they went skinny dipping one night my ass would have been fucking toasted and probably my life ruined.
When I was 18 a guy tried to pick me up. I told my roommates I'd met this local and he really impressed me with how nice and friendly he was. They told me: "Dude - he was gay," and filled me in. I was shocked. But that was me, at 18.
Personally, I didn't start masturbating until I was 16. I was a late bloomer, so to speak. No one told me about it, either, I was from a very conservative, Christian family. My thoughts on my first self-induced orgasm were: "I'm a pervert."
If there'd been someone to start talking about it with me, I probably would have responded. How would I've known if I was being taken advantage of? And if I did have thoughts, I had so much guilt that I was _completely_ unaware of, I could have been silenced easily, for years.
My point is, I know from personal experience that just because you can drive, you are not wise to the ways of the world.
Now at 35, I think I have a clue. I've been at a job, similiar to a politician's, where I encounter many people and I've learned to 'read' people. Once you can read them, you can start manipulating them. But you really have to be a jerk to take advantage of people. To take advantage of kids, who haven't even started thinking about the world outside themselves, is fucking ludicris.
I'm not gay, and I can say this with a _lot_ of experience and introspection because I work in the art world. I see full-bodied, beautiful young girls. And thank God - they're not sexually attractive to me in the way a woman closer to my own age is. There is a sexual beauty that radiates from women, and it's not something that comes from naive faces. Whatever makes these guys go after the young ones, it must be fucked up to be stuck with it.
Kids are stupid, essentially. They're naive and its easy to take advantage of them, even if they can drive a car. The plain fact is when you 16 - 18 you're a newb to life, a grape, ripe for the picking.
But I or anyone else would have to be fucking soulless to take advantage of them. The innocence and naiveness is plain on their faces and I think attraction to that must be like a fetish.
Maybe I'm lucky - I learned early that older women have characteristics that make them way better than younger women. When I think back to the sex I had as a teen - it was goddamned horrible.
Maybe I'm lucky - I'm attracted to women my own age.
I don't know if these predators are acting out of compulsions they can't control, like a fetish, or because they're soulless asswipes, but either way, they really need to get some goddamned help.
Reading Foley's chats - he either never grew past age 18, or he knows exactly how to talk ( or attempt to talk ) like teenagers and he's manipulating them.
Either way, the man's not gay: he's fucked up in the head.