Doesn't anyone here remember that Ninjas, not muslim terrorists, used to be the quintessential stupendous badasses? I was scared to death of ninjas for the longest time, and used to fantasize about being a ninja so I could kick the ass of Gerry who used to make fun of me in grade school.

If the terrorists knew anything, they'd teach some of their suicidal types how to be ninjas, and turn them loose somewhere where lots of Americans hang out. That'd be great.

Then we'd all get to ride on the plane with our hands and feet safely cinched together, with a urinary catheter and vacuum cleaner under our seats to take care of our needs. The stewardess lady would come by and make sure we were hydrated, and they wouldn't have to spend all that money on bad coffee and tomato juice.

Hey, us conservatives are still here. Why are you liberals looking to us to protect your rights? We know damn well you won't help protect ours. Bush Co. wiped their collective asses with the amendments they don't like. The dems will wipe theirs with the remainder.

I love Garrison Keillor's weekly column in Salon. And as usual he has some good points to make in this one.

But the point has been made many times that it is ridiculous for airport security to be suspicious of people who look like little old grandmas, or midwestfarmers, or etc. And this point is 100% wrong. Because if there ever were some visual profile of who not to scrutinize at the airport, then the bad guys will then have an easy way to bypass security -- just find someone easily disguisable to resemble that profile.

(And let's please not understimate the stupidity of some Americans by saying that no one would co-operate with such a scheme.)

You forgot to mention the 24 hours required to dry the TATP after it is filtered. That's because TATP isn't even a liquid, it's a white crytalline powder. It's also not really an explosive. It's "explosive" energy comes from a near instantaneous phase change from a solid to a gas, not from burning.

Did you know that air marshalls are armed with special pistols which fire a bullet that will enter a body but not exit that body? Can you imagine why they have such weapons? Can you imagine what could too easily happen if a passenger armed with a deer rifle, no less, accidentally fired it during flight? All a fanatic would have to do is stand in front of the heavily armed folks in coach class after the airplane reaches about 35,000 feet (cruising altitude where the air is too thin to breathe), and announce that he is hijacking the airplane. The hail of bullets from the passengers would almost surely bring the airplane down in a very, very deadly hurry.

Folks are, I hope, familiar with the term "satire?"

Don't take it so seriously--it's not meant to be.

Sounds like the man to head up airline security ought to be Mr. Keillor’s fellow Minnesotan, the honorable Governor Jesse Ventura, who promoted the carrying of guns by school personnel, even packing himself. And of course, current Minnesotan Baron von Raschke should head Homeland Security. Achtung Baby!

And finally, given the harsh winters in Minnesota, the extremely qualified Tony Snow is a shoo-in to be the colon sniffer.

I agree with Garrison - bring on the intrusions! The state government I work for just insisted that my new intern pee in a cup to merit the privilege of working 17 hours a week for free in order to serve mentally ill citizens. Good thing! If he smoked a joint last week, he could be a threat to their safety!

"Arm the passengers" -- that's funny. It was funnier when Mike Royko suggested it, but that's because he did it first.

I thought I was the only one who bridled at that particular name - to a generation brought up during and after WWII, it smacks of Germanic Nazi-ism.

Sorry, but that's the way I see it.

I was brought up in England and had a terrific teacher of German who always used to tell us that the English would never get taken in by phrases typically used by Hitler such as "the blood-soaked soil of the Fatherland". Mr. Townsend always said an English crowd would burst out laughing at such demagoguery.

I used to think he was right - now I wonder.

I'm in full agreement with the "Homeland" (Vaterland?) thing. And "Department of Homeland Security" is absurd. Why not just call it the "Department of Defense"? Then the current DoD can go back to its historical, and more accurate, name: the Department of War.

Donald Rumsfeld, surely, would not object.

Garrison,

I love it:

"The jihadists we're afraid of are, so far as we know, young Muslim men from the Middle East, not old grandmas named Evelyn and Gladys married to soybean farmers, and not even old white guys like me, but nonetheless they pat us down for plastic explosives under our Sansabelts and have us raise our stockinged feet to be wanded for possible toe bombs."

Thanks so much, Garrison. You are absolutely correct. I travel frequently, and I am disgusted by the security attention on people like Evelyn and Gladys and yourself. All I can think of is that they are wasting limited security resources on people we all *know* are no threat at all.

This is typical of the Bush-led administration. Danger from Pakistan and Saudi Arabia? Let's invade Iraq! Danger from Muslims in America? We'll make everyone a suspect! Of course, it's easier to attack an unloved country like Iraq, and to be politically correct with respect to the danger of Islam.

As for Xylu, you are making very little sense. Why don't you provide a list of all the non-Muslims who have committed terrorist acts against Americans in, say, the last ten years? Go ahead, we'll wait.

I agree, too, about the "Homeland security" thing. The sound of the phrase has echoes of Nazi Germany, and I always wondered why this name was chosen, and thought maybe it was just me. Now it know it is not just me.

However, it is generally true that Islamic terrorism is winning, in that it is making true many of the warnings about use of language first issued by George Orwell (ne Blair) in "Nineteen Eighty-Four".

In Florida, where I live, it is particularly poignant to note that our Governor's Big Brother is in the White House issuing the latest progress reports on how the war against whomever is designated Public Enemy #1 of the week is being won, and will continue to be won for ever, no matter what the wrongspeakers and bad-doers may say.