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Wednesday, September 13, 2006 12:00 AM

Guns on a plane

The way to stop terrorists on planes is to encourage passengers to bring loaded firearms aboard. Where's the NRA when you need 'em?
By Garrison Keillor

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  • Tuesday, September 12, 2006 08:28 PM

    Ninjas: the original terrorists

    Doesn't anyone here remember that Ninjas, not muslim terrorists, used to be the quintessential stupendous badasses? I was scared to death of ninjas for the longest time, and used to fantasize about being a ninja so I could kick the ass of Gerry who used to make fun of me in grade school.

    If the terrorists knew anything, they'd teach some of their suicidal types how to be ninjas, and turn them loose somewhere where lots of Americans hang out. That'd be great.

    Then we'd all get to ride on the plane with our hands and feet safely cinched together, with a urinary catheter and vacuum cleaner under our seats to take care of our needs. The stewardess lady would come by and make sure we were hydrated, and they wouldn't have to spend all that money on bad coffee and tomato juice.

    —svanegmond Read svanegmond's other letters

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