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• Monday, July 10, 2006 05:49 AM

  Chris:

  <<This is a tired old saw, one I've yet to see statistically proven, and contradicted by the people I meet. Lesbians are capable of being real players. The lesbians I know are just as capable of promiscuity (or being sexually liberated, if you prefer) as some of the gay men I know. Conversely, I know gay men who will settle for nothing less than complete monogamy.>>

  And all of this about monogamy and polyamorous relations has WHAT to do with whether I as a lesbian can visit my beloved partner (or she me) in a hospital, inherit from her, have her legally recognized as my family?

  Let's face it: men and women, whether straight or gay, can be "players", can be promiscuous. Men and women, whether straight or gay, can also be monogamous and committed to one person. This is not only a non-starter but it also uses the religious right's f*cked-up, backward logic that because some members of a group *may* do something "wrong", let's ensure no one from that group can do anything. If you follow that logic, then why the hell should straights be allowed to marry? Some of them will cheat, be "players"--male and female. Some will go on reality shows and marry. Some will marry for publicity stunts. You get the drift.

  For the record, I'm not one of those lesbian "players" you refer to (as if all lesbians are). My partner and I 1) are totally monogamous and 2) have absolutely no plans to have children (whether of our own blood or through adoption). But why shouldn't we have the same rights under the law that my straight brother and his wife, also completely monogamous and childless, have?

  I recognize and appreciate the situation Sara and Martha are in as parents. That more is at stake for gay and lesbian parents is true. However, the ultimate bottom line is that they first and foremost (and my partner and I) are being denied fundamental civil rights. It has to start with our rights as individuals being recognized.

  —RatherBRidin' Read RatherBRidin''s other letters
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