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Will somebody please give homosexuals the right to marry so that I won't have to read another whiny article about it on Salon? Please, somebody give them their rights so I don't have to read about their little Ozzie and Harriet gay wonderland family time. Please, give them what they want so they will stop pointing out how bad a job we heterosexuals have done with the marriage thing. Please, please give them what they want so they can stop playing pretend wife, pretend mother. Please, please, please, legislators, give them what they want so they will shut up.