Letters to the Editor
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A word from the President of the Institute for Better High School Wrestling Coach Relations (IBHSWCR)
Salon readers, et al.:
I would like to take a moment to address the issue here of high school wrestling coaches. I would just like to say that we are people too, and we hurt. We're not nancy-boys like Keillor and MOST San Franciscans, but listen, everyone. We cry. We feel. We DO know how to grab an opponent by the short and curlies for the win, but we're not gay or anything. We are more than coaches. We are LIFE-coaches. We are teachers. We teach the children to body slam one another, and, afterwards, shower together effusively. It builds character, muscle, and heterosexual attitudes, all of which or boys will need if we are to defeat Al Qaeda. Try that one, nancy-boy Keillor!
Thank you,
Coach Dirk Mitchrock
President, IBHSWCR